Hmmm i'm sure we all have tons of these in our inboxes...

I thought i'd start a thread with only South African based jokes

I'll start.... LOL enjoy guys

Government Departments

A guy applies for a job at a new South African Government Department.
The interviewer asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
"Yes!" the guy says, "...a landmine blew my testicles away!"
"O.K. you're hired!" the interviewer announces, "Working hours are from
8 till 5 o'clock. Make sure you're here by 10 every morning!"
Puzzled the guy says "8 till 5 , why do you want me to come in only at
10?"
"This is a government job," the interviewer says, "the first two hours
we just sit around scratching our balls.......no point in you coming in
for that....!"


A South African Librarian

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian takes one look at him and says
" Voetsek, who's gonna bring it back?"


The Weakest Link

In response to the popularity of The Weakest Link, Kyknet will be
launching an Afrikaans version. After many months of creative
brainstorming, they have managed to come up with a catchy version of:
"You are the weakest link - goodbye."
The producers have settled on what will surely become a popular phrase,
applicable to many other situations too .........
"Jy's dof - fokof!''

come on guyz... no replies? not even a LOL....? even the spam would be appreciated
practically everyone has these floating around

ok heres another....

GOV school vs PVT school

Living in SA is not a joke.

"Leaving the house in the morning, dressed in clothes that you bought on credit for work, driving through the traffic in a car that you are still paying for, putting in petrol that you cannot afford, in order to get to the job that you hate but need so badly so that you can pay for the clothes, car, petrol and the house that you leave empty the whole day, in order to live in it"

Adieu

LOL not me bud... spend your money more wisely... I have a car thats on credit (almost paid for mind you) but need it to do a job that i'm almost happy with (will be completely happy as soon as i'm qualified)... i can afford my petrol and the clothes on my back are paid for... i work 8 to 4.30... my home is occupied....

the intent was to make ppl laugh bud... not bring up a serious converstion on the topic of SA and its NUMEROUS problems. I think those topics belong in the newswire/bitch and moan/colleseum.... rather than the monkey barrel...

wow The Saint so philosophical at this time of the morning???

guess it's a good push to make people work harder and push further!

it's so sad to see that rich people become richer whilest poor or "middle" class people end up poorer

It was his SA joke!!!!!

A boys girlfriend asks him to come have supper with her parents and her, this would be the first time he meet the girls parents. He is very nervous and tell her to make it another night. The girl is still a virgin and tells him that after supper they can go out and she will make love to him. He then hurries to the pharmacy to by condoms. The boy gets to the pharmacy and tell the pharmacist its his firs time his buying comdoms coz his a virgin. The pharmacist explains how to use a condom and asks what pack he wants, the single pack, double pack or family pack, the boy says family pack coz he wants to realy do it tonight. He gets to the girl friends house and they sit around the table, they bow there heads as they say grace, after 2 minutes the boys head is still down, 5 minutes and its still down after ten minutes the girlfriend leans over and says." i didnt know you so religious", the boy whispers back "i didnt knw the phamacist was your father".

One day, a woman was travelling home by Taxi when a man got in and sat
Down next to her. The woman noticed that the man was slightly the worse for
drink.

"Jy is dronk!" said the woman in disgust.
"And you, madam, is very ugly!" the man replied un-offended.

The woman began to scream at the man, but he remained silent. At last, the taxi
reached a stop and the woman gathered up her stuff to go. As
The taxi started to move, the man leant out of the window and
Shouted:

"At least by tomorrow I'll be sober but jy will still be ugly, voetsek!

this actually isnt a joke but an actual quote by Sir Winston Churchill to Bessie Braddock.


Another famous quip by Churchill was to Lady Nancy Astor where she said to him "If I were your wife, I would poison your tea" to which he replied "and if I were your husband, I would drink it"

HAHAHa Lol i see good ol winston was a funny oke hey... if only they included them in highschool history .LOL i neva took any interest watsoever in history. i got the joke/quote in an e-mail....

yeah the dude was a drunk comedian half the time.

Ok i'm spoiling the fun, not really a SA joke

"I heard that Austrian woman are best matured like a great wine..... Locked in the cellar for over 20 years

LOOOOOOL!!!