ok. is anyone else going through a really tough break-up? i'd like some advice on whether what i'm doin is right or not.


oh and p.s.--now single and lookin! lol

edited: im not single anymore!! heehee

what's so tough about the breakup? what you not doing right?

bf cheating on you? bf wants to see someone else? bf beating you? bf doesn't love you?

or

you THINK bf still wants you? you THINK bf still has feelings? you THINK?

well simply put STOP FEKING THINKING! If the bf is treating you shit then he's not right for you... if the bf is beating you then WTF you worried about? if bf is cheating or doesn't love you, then why you posting?

P.S I think you shouldn't mention that you single and looking cos I'm sure Valheru and Cyfermaster are despereate enough to fly to Illinois

Breakups are tough. Just don't get back together with him. It'll never be the same.

ok. i cheated on him 4 months ago, he says he can't handle it. after 4 months i feel like now is a piss poor time to be tellin me he cant handle it. he cheated on me for a week before he finally broke it off..

we both still like each other, he just doesn't want to date me because he's afraid of me and thinks i will either hurt him or lie to him again.

i just want him back....




ps--idc if they do come here. i need excitement. lol

I went through a really rough one a few years ago with my fiance, then gf of like 10years.

Highschool sweethearts my ass!

My advice? Spend some time single and let yourself heal properly, then learn to love yourself again.
Go out, party, flirt, maybe have a little naughty fun too? It's up to you really.

Also, don't settle for some one just coz they are there, be fussy, be picky, and only choose the person who really deserves your time.

the thing is, my exbf and i are still really close. like today, i was going to go meet another ex to hook up just for fun, but when vance (my ex) found out, he got all depressed and doesn't want me to go. he thinks i'm being irresponsible. i wish i could go and not have him hurt or angry for it.

ok, i'm going out on a limb here. i'm gonna give out my e-mail addy. unless ur a creep, and as long as you have some advice (or are interested ) go ahead and feel free to message me.

***removed***

and if i start gettin a whole bunch of forwards, i'll block you and never talk to you again! lol

EDITED TO SAY: wow...i was really desperate. i guess i wasn't as smart as i thought i was...

Ok, in light of a re-read of this thread I need to change my advice.

seeing as you have both cheated on each other in the past, clearly there would always be trust issues between you.

I personally, would never take a woman back after she's cheated on me.

When people cheat on each other it's a sign that:

A.) The relationship obviously wasn't important enough to protect/cherish.
B.) There is a lack of respect for the partner(s)

So I think it would be best if you both parted ways and left it at that. Neither of you would trust each other if you did get back together and there would always be problems.

Trust me, been there, tried that - wasn't worth the bullsh!t that came with it.

Just me opinion mind you...

lol.....i feel really.....whats the word.....rejected? hahaha...just playin...

for my own good...i like that

no, really.

trust me.

I suppose they can always Pm You

PMS ftw!

personally I think because you cheated on him, he will always feel that you have betrayed his trust... and the reason is he doesn't want to continue with a relentionship that is going to end up with you both hurting each other...

So ya, it's time to move forward... as for the ex ex bf, there's plenty of fishes in the seas so rather not stick with old souls.

You are still young, time to experiment

P.S don't experiment with your ex's friends... will lead to no good

i don't like any of his friends, so don't you worry about that. lol


but guys, thanks for the responses. i didn't think anyone would bother. i owe you guys big time!!

i understand. its cool.

I'm not too good with words, but the lyrics of this song should fit well with this thread.

I heard about your trip
I heard about your souvenirs
I heard about the cool breeze and the cool nights
And the cool guys that you spent them with
I guess I should have heard of them from you
I guess I should have heard of them from you

Well don't you see, don't you see
That the charade is over
And all the "best deceptions" and the
"Clever cover story" awards go to you

So kiss me hard
'Cause this will be the last time that I let you
You will be back someday
And this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips
Will be of service to keeping you away

I heard about your regrets
I heard that you were feeling sorry
I heard from someone that you wish you could
Set things right between us
Well, I guess I should have heard of that from you
I guess I should have heard of that from you

Well don't you see, don't you see
That the charade is over
And all the "best deceptions" and the
"Clever cover story" awards go to you

So kiss me hard
'Cause this will be the last time that I let you
You will be back someday
And this awkward kiss that screams of other people's lips
Will be of service to keeping you away
To keeping you away

I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers
I'll be alright when my hands get warm
Ignoring the phone--I'd rather say nothing
I'd rather you never heard my voice
You're calling too late, too late to be gracious
You do not warrant long goodbyes
You're calling too late
You're calling too late
You're calling too late

Dashboard Confessional - Best Deceptions

Adieu

wow talk about deep.... i felt that.... agreed though hey... hectic stuff ppl only realise what they've lost too late. i can relate to your poem on a personal level as well as a macro level... great post SAINT

wow. that almost made me cry. so many things have happened so fast. i got a new bf, and my ex found out, tried to throw himself off the roof of his house and is now in a mental hospital in Indianapolis. my new bf is trying so hard to help me, but i can't even think about my ex without blaming myself for driving him crazy. im scared of driving someone else crazy, i guess. there is just so much i want to get rid of, but only time can heal it. and time isn't passing quickly enough. thanks for all the support. looking forward to seeing what you guys think has kept me coming to school when i felt like no one cared and everyone blamed me. i owe you guys.

O_o threw himself off the roof? what? he's 5 years old? man people really can do things I tell ya!

gee he should come to SA that should harden him a bit

i really think that i just kinda accelerated his "demise" i guess you could call it. he was crazy long before i came along, but theres just something that keeps me thinking about him. he told a whole bunch of his friends that i was controling him, when i wasn't even allowed to get my eyebrows waxed. he never told his friends the whole truth, and now that he's gone, i can't defend myself because they wouldn't believe me. i wasn't allowed to talk to people a lot, and i couldn't laugh at other guys when they made jokes. i couldn't wear makeup, or my new colored contacts that i was so excited about. i had to keep my phone with me at ALL times, including when i was eating or riding horses, because if i didn't answer, he would get mad at me. i can't come up with anything that i ever did to control him. and every time i asked him to give me an example, he would accuse me of setting him up because he can't come up with examples on the spot. like i was trying to corner him. i guess i kinda was, but it was just so i could know what it was i was doing to make him so "opressed." i shouldn't be dwelling on these things, but every time i see his locker (right beside mine) or his picture (on my phone, at my house) i get all confused again. i even have to have my new bf delete the pics off my phone so i don't cry. i hate this. it seems so dumb and trivial when i write it all down, but its not. this is my life now, and i have to live with the fact that i drove a guy crazy. literally crazy. all i can ask is why. and no one has an answer.....

Pll go crazy by themselves, no one can make you crazy, seems like the Guy was nuts to begin with and you never shoulda dated him... but its all over now and you should forget about him...

but objectively speaking what makes me sceptical of your story of you being controlled... is this YOU cheated on him??? how'd u manage to do that if he was always in your face? seems almost impossible if he was that clingy, Unless the other guy knew about him and helped you hide it of course?

So, he dumped you, you wanted him back.
He didnt want you back, and when you got a new bf, he tried to throw himself of the roof of his house?

Does not compute.

Anyway, I hope he lives in a mansion on the edge of a cliff, otherwise throwing yourself off the roof is not going to do much except maybe spraining your ankle...

Hence my query too,

No offence Aci but being objective about this

This whole thread is like a super summary of one big happening with only one side/part to it.... theres too much missing and its too small a part of a biggg jigsaw puzzle, which 90% of the info seems incomplete...

Oh and Carrots maybe its one those American triple story wooden houses, with the white picket fence LOL and he wanted to jump head first....

mmm, maybe if he aimed his throat at the fence.... he would probably need a running start for that, depending on the size of the yard....

Sorry for being insensitive about this ... BAD CARROT!!

I read somewhere that the reason why young people behave so strangely, is that not all the connections in your brain are fully formed until you are about 23. So chances are you will look back at this and not be able to understand how you thought it was so serious.

The ex being in a mental hospital isnt nice, but chances are its not really that serious. He just needs a "time-out" from his issues, and they will be able to provide him with that in a safe environment. Those places can be really helpful, and a lot of people check themselves in voluntarily.

Dont worry, everything will turn out OK, and both of you will be stronger because of it. (he may have permanent emotional scarring when he realises what a 'tard he's been though :-p )

Talking from experience Carrots

he considered it cheating.

what i did was lie to him about playing an online game, talk to a guy on there, gave him my #, the guy txtd me some nasty shit (i did NOT reply), vance saw it.

thats all i did. he didn't want me to play this stupid f*cking game, so he got mad. i wanted to play it, so i went behind his back and lied to him. there ya go.



thats exactly what happened. he dumped me, i wanted him back more than anything. he was an ass to me, i got over him, he realized he neededme AFTER i got a bf, then got mad and suicidal.

and his house is one-story. no fence. hehe....

well, there's not much more i can add. i admit, i was possessive (logging on and checking his emails, myspace) but i was not controlling. i never told him he couldn't go somewhere or do something with his friends like he did with me. i was hurt if he didn't want to spend time with me, but that was because that never happened until he started cheating on me on my own computer. that was a week before he finally dumped me. he cheated on me too. and not just this talking to girls shit, actually cheating (phone sex, cyber, telling them he loved them more than anything). you know, i do miss him. ugh...wish he'd get out of my head.

eh? cyber sexx0r is cheating? :OMG: Carrot you made me cheat on my GF! YOU BASTARD!

hmmm so the truth comes out... you were the one that was controlling! AHHA! always a thrid side to the story! what else you keeping from us?

errrr!!!!!!


in my opinion, thats grounds for instant ejection from my life, you don't trust me off the bat then you must gtfo.

that shows insecurity and its something I will not tolerate.

read my mails hmmph!

lol. i was checking because i felt i had a need to make sure he wasn't lying. i felt like he was hiding something from me.

how the hell is that controlling?

Straight up Paul.

Invasion of privacy and violation of trust like that means instant dumping IMO.

well if it was after the whole cheating instance then I guess it's sorta warranted seeing as you looking to make sure things weren't happening again... it takes a lot to regain that trust back once someone has cheated... but if you didn't trust him from the start then it shouldn't have gone down that far!

My current gf and I both know each others passwords etc. (I set up her gmail and facebook profiles for her).

The difference is, we choose not to log into each others accounts.

We've both agreed that if there is something to say then we'll tell each other face to face.

I won't lie, I am tempted sometimes. Human nature? I dunno.

But after the shyte that went down with my fiance. I am not interested in opening a Pandora's box.

ok. i get ur point. but its all over now, and theres nothing i can do tochange the past. i admit, i shouldn't have looked at his stuff, but he looked at mine too. it was a two-way street. he looked at mine, accused me of flirting, i looked at his, accused him of flirting, we both got mad at some point in time. with him, there was always a double standard. what was good for me was not always good enough for him.

Each relationship is a learning experience. You'll go into the new one with important lesson's learn't.

As long as you learn those lessons and don't repeat the same mistakes.

maybe she molest the new one

fishy, what exactly is that supposed to mean??

i don't molest things, i .......well......idk what i do.

im just cool like that

That's the way that it should be. I also agree that if you have to check up on me, check my mail etc... then you obviously don't trust me. Relationships are all about TRUST (IMO). If there is no trust, then how is the relationship going to work? You are going to second guess everything your partner says.

ignore Fishy. He just waffles.

Im with you guys. Reading emails and or text messages is just a total invasion of privacy.

Bye bye, dont call me, Ill call you.