Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: old flames
Vault9 Forums > V9 Unplugged > The Lounge > Monkey Barrel

Custom Search
Paul
I received a phone call from a gorgeous gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to
enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in
meeting up and rekindling a little of that "magic".


"Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a bit
older and a bit balder than when you last saw me."

She just giggled and said she was sure I'd "rise" to the challenge.

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline
that's a few inches wider these days!"


She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that
tubby bald men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"


So I told her to fuck off.
LegendofMax
lol funny
Pisces797
Talk about your typicl double standard from men. It's okay if you put on a little weight, but when a woman does it, it's not okay. That's kind of BS if you ask me.
Paul
notice that I put it under monkey barrel, i.e. joke
cyfermaster
LOLOL. it is a brilliant JOKE.
Milano
QUOTE

So I told her to fuck off.
laugh.gif

QUOTE
Talk about your typicl double standard from men. It's okay if you put on a little weight, but when a woman does it, it's not okay. That's kind of BS if you ask me.


laugh.gif x 2
RenegadeNukes
ROFL!

Thats good, very good. Nice to wake up in the morning and have a good laugh

:roll2: tongue.gif
idiotwind
hahaha i liked that one. maybe have to borrow it.
LegendofMax
Heres a joke for you:

QUOTE
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in Palmy, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the floors. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor anyway, where the sign reads:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.

There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.


hehe i found this brilliant
Paul
rotfl
cyfermaster
LOL. hehe.
SLicK
ROFL!
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Custom Search
Invision Power Board © 2001-2008 Invision Power Services, Inc.