Hey guys I'm new to this board. I have been with this girl for only about 3 months but we get along real well and things have been going fairly well till a couple weeks ago. About a month ago I found out she still talked to 3 of her x's. One of which she was with for 4 years. He still calls her and txts her everyday asking to have her back. He goes to the same school as her and she talks to him there on occasion. We have gotten in fights over this bc she has stated she doesn't like him or care and I ask her to just not talk to him out of respect for me. Anyways fast forward last week we were together almost everyday. This week her mom went out of town and she has had to help out at home a little more but has become very distant. Asking for more space and saying she doesn't feel like I let her do anything. Some things happened a couple days ago and she went ballistic on me friday. Everytime we talk she gets angry and says I want to argue but I honestly never raise my voice period. Friday was the last time I talked to her, I sent her a message yesterday and then got an email from her saying she didnt know what to think about me and she didn't want to think about it. I've lost some family members recently and may have been a little more needy than normal. I got a txt last night saying goodnight out of nowhere. I texted her once today but thats it. No reply. So my question is where do I go from here?

Well firstly I would assume the worse, she's most likely has strong feelings for the ex and that's made her aggressive and confused. (or your story didn't explain everything). Maybe she needs time but then you can revert back to my first point...

It may seem hard but I think it's high time to move past her, yes you'll hurt but if this is not what she wants then it's not going to work no matter how you try speaking to her. I take it you still in school from the sound of things, so take it as a good experience and learn from it, there's plenty of girls out there.

Hi Tren

How old are you two?

My condolences for your losses, things like this can definately pull on your emotions and heart-strings. Maybe she is going through a rough time, although you don't need this shit in your life at the moment.

You don't have to raise ur voice dude, there's also such a thing as tone

I feel for you! I had a very similar experience with my ex about a year back so I know the emotions that are possibly flowing through your head.

It seems to me like she still has feelings for her ex even though she is now with you!

Its near impossible to predict what she will do from here on but if you really like her, dont let anything stand in the way of you being with her!!

My still speaks to and smses her exes. She sometimes even visits them. No harm no foul. It all comes down to TRUST

i'm with cyfer on that one

I encouraged my current GF to maintain a friendship with her ex. She decided on her own that she wasn't interested.

I think he took your asking her not to talk to her ex as a sign that you don't trust her.

ok, coming from a girl... dont obsess so much over the ex and just because there are problems or what not in a relationship doesnt mean that it is a "someone else" scenario -she is probably not cheating. her and the ex -they broke up- there is a reason people break up and so trust that that reason is still there and that when she insists there is nothing between her and the ex, she is telling the truth. she is dating *you* not the old guy, that means she picked you, and the fact that he is so keen to get back together and she still picks you should put you on top of the world, not threaten you. if you get possessive and jealous it will do little good, and then she will {as she has} pull the 'space' card and dodge you. let her know you trust her and give her the space she needs and then, do just that, believe in your relationship and more importantly, Her. if you want it to last you need to trust each other and make one another feel secure.

and if she insists on being friends with him, just ask her to be honest with you, because honesty helps to build trust. and then respond in a mature fashion because that will show her that it is ok to trust you too

well, its what i would do

hope it works out for the best...

well put ms.daisy.

Kick him in the groin... urm nvm

I would put my trust as far as I can throw the guy, if you openly know that the ex is trying to win her back then you need to put your foot down... maybe not at her but let the guy know you watching him and keep your mind open and don't get too deeply involved.

I generally feel safer with the exes, than some new guy friend she makes.
But an ex trying to win her back is not nice. IMO she should break ties with an ex trying to win her back. At least till he is ready to be just friends.

Bear in mind that jealousy makes one nasty.
Give her some space for a while, if she doesnt come around, forget about her, and tell her so.

Hi there.

Couple of things I don't agree with that have been said.

Firstly, the ex thing IS important. Not because it's an ex but because you say he's nagging to have her back and sounds like she hasn't told him to bugger off. That seems to me like a line this guy is crossing - he has no respect for your relationship with her. It's her job to enforce that respect. Not yours.

TRUST is essential, but she has to take your feelings into account too. Don't make demands, but tell her how you feel and why, best advice I can give...

Second, if you've lost some family members you're going to be needy. She should anticipate that and make allowances for it. And support you! But like MsDaisy said,. if she's pulling the space card, it's probably best to respect that. I know guys think it's garbabge but sometimes it's exactly what you need.

My 2c.