After a break-up, do you think its possible to try and be friends or do you think any chance of friendship is lost in the break-up?
If you think couples can be friends after a relationship, can they do it straight away or does it take time?

Do you have an ex your'e friends with? but not that superficial 'howzit/howzit' scenario, Real friends?

no. it never turns out well.
I know.

care to elaborate?

never

It doesn't work

There's just too much excessive feelings to get over before you can attempt to try something like this. And even if you do become friends, those old feelings may come up and cause problems.

I disagree, I am good friends with quite a few exes, one of whom I consider one of my best friends ever

that the is the exception, not the rule.

i agree with hunter... one of my exes are my best friends.. in fact i think we make better friends than a couple... and we relate better to each other now than before

Personally, from my experience, it doesn't work.

My last ex (whom I happened to have been engaged to) cannot speak to me with out bringing up the past.
So we cannot have a conversation with out it getting ugly and turning into an arguement.

Not to say that I wouldn't have wanted to remain on good terms... The bitch is just psycho.

its never worked for me.. my ex is crazy

Never worked for me, only ever been the 'howzit' kind of friendship.

I was really good friends with an ex, then she came back to the country, and it started all over again, and now we are ex's again..... getting over feelings is fecking hard.

Never get back with the ex unless you are both 100% sure that you understand why things didn't work the first time.
Biggest mistake I ever made and both parties ended up getting hurt even more.

Rather leave things alone.

i think its great if you can get over all the issues and actually be friends, but if you can be good friends why cant you date? if friendship is the basis of a good relationship, then why doesnt it work the first time round? yet you can be friends and do everything you would with a boyfriend or girlfriend xept maybe the physical aspects? and they should be there because you dated before so theres probably chemistry?

Personally, I never bothered with the whole "let's be friend's" thing before. I am giving that a try now with the most recent ex though. It is right now more of a "howzit" kind of thing, for the most part anyway... I guess i shall report back in a couple o' months time to report if it worked out or not.

If you can be good friends why cant you date???
I have alot of people in my life who are my good friends but i certainly dont want to date them. Friendship is not the only basis fo a good relationship, you need chemistry too.. that is what separates friends from lovers. After a failed relationship the chemistry disappears and the person you dated before becomes only a friend and nothing more. And there are alot of things you wont do with your ex besides getting physical... Just like you do certain things with certain friends, so you would do certain things with your friend who just happens to be your ex. Its a pity that it hasnt worked out for any of you that posted here, other than hunter, but it has worked for me with this particular ex.

Rarely works out.

Since i have not really parted ways in friendly circumstances with my most recent exes, i am not friends with any of them. Not that i want to be anyway.

In the one instance we should never have tried having a relationship in the first place. We could have been great pals, but yeah, it not work out that way. In the relationship, we were in each others hair most of the time, and that made it really difficult towards the end.

hmmmmmmm

My ex and I are still very close and there is still a whole lot of chemistry there, it's so stuffed up

I am friends with all of my exes except for 1. 1 of my exes is a really good friend, others are just like my normal friends. I definately think it is possible, but it does depend on how the break-up went...

I see no issues with doing it! But only if it was a mutual break-up and you don't have any feelings for each other at the moment. Otherwise it justs gets really messy

true but... things really get messy when ur friends with beneffits.. thats never good.. well it is while it lasts untill some one else comes along.. that may have been my biggest mistake 2 years ago..

hunter if your exes looks anything like your avatar then I'd say

anyhow I personally think it all depends on how badly the breakup went... I'm friends with my ex but only on the basis of how are you doing what you up to.

The less I see of my ex, the better. There is no way that I want to be friends with someone who is so self centred.

Adieu

Depends of the situations and circumstances, i would think!

Yes if you weren't very attached and both decided to break up

No if you were really close and one of you walked out.

It can work - providing you don't kill her so you can hang her ears around your neck after you break up.

I think it is very possible, you just both need that cool off period after the relationship. I think this is more for longer relationships that have ended and once each person has got over the hurt.

Why not try it and let us know

i tried the friends with an ex thing, took a year and a half before we could do the howzit thing, and ive just realised -again- what a moron he is. pity, cos we made really good friends before we dated

i am just waiting for the comments about lesbians after this.

I dont think you can be friends as a general rule. My wife and I dated when we where younger, broke up - hated each other for months and months and then ended up getting back together and then getting married, so i think that is an exception to the norm.

I know another member of these forums that broke up with his GF for a while, and they remained friends and are now dating again...

lol, only thing is, not many people know what thats all about.

Although Dave might elaborate

huh? you think otherwise yet your actions did the opposite of what you think????

I think friendship is possible. I havent been in contact with my ex for over a month now, but after we've both cooled down, I would not rule out the chance of friendship.

I would never get back together with her again though!

Its complicated I believe that generally it doesnt work - but there are some odd cases where it does

CrEaTi0n can... all his ex's are lesbian now.

lies. none of them are

yeah, thats why i battle with the concept, most people can only stay friends if there are still some feelings (from 1 side or both) and end up dating or they stop being friends. not all, but most of the time.

Glad you said not all, as I am still friends with all (but 1) of my exes, and there aren't any feelings as we are all with new partners...

I just can't comprehend how exes can still be friends. With my last ex, I just as soon run his ass over with a car as to look at him if I had the chance. I have never been and probably will never be friends with any ex what so ever. Too many variables if you ask me. Or maybe I just suck at picking guys.

My gf says that her ex has cut all ties from her now.
She sms'd him on his birthday and on New Years and she got nothing.

I asked if she was dissappointed given the length of their relationship but she said that she expected him to do it.

I guess that it really depends on the people involved?

That, and I also think it has a lot to do with how things ended. Obviously if the partner cheated on you, you are not really going to want to be friends with that person (not that it hasn't happened). If both parties just fell "out of love" and ended things on good terms then the chance of being friends is a lot greater....

Very true Cyfer, that is really the only time it can happen all of the other ones get far too messy

yeah, i also think you cant be friends if you get hurt its kinda hard to laugh with someone who ripped your heart out

would have to agree with you on that matter