I've had this problem for some time now, so thought I'd ask here and see if anyone can tell me what I'm missing.

When I meet a new girl it's pretty easy for me to get her to like me. Mostly over the phone, SMS, MXIT, or on IM on the PC, not soo good at face to face situations but am working on it.

Now in the beginning most girls I meet seem to like me, and even seem to like me as more than a friend. And usually what happens is if I meet that girl, afterwards she only wants to be friends

This also sometimes happens after I've known a girl for a while. Even if I don't actually meet her.

In the beginning it's fine and easy, but as time goes most girls seem to just wanna stay friends with me.

Any ideas people?

first thing i'd have to say is work on the face-2-face communication... other than that, hmmm i'm no doctor phil but have you tried reciprocating the girl's conversational topics to keep her interested?

Ya, I know I gotta work on that. Am getting much better though, have a good girl-friend of mine who has been very helpful.

I have tried that to some extent, that's something basic I should have remembered it... lol. Will do that more often.

yeah. i reckon girls love that, and hey if she gets boring, use charlie sheen's (from 2 and a half men) line: i understand!

Maybe ur not a pleasant guy to have as a boyfriend and the more they get to know about you the less they want to be close to you ?

I dunno though, u r working with chicks and yeah, they seem illogical after a while. Why not just ask face to face why only friends and not more (if you really like the girl that is)...Honesty is a funny thing and you shouldnt be afraid to be honest. Especially face-to-face...

*edit* Goodbye confusion

as a girlfriend? lol either juca is confused or azgard isn't telling us something

Lol, must have missed the confusion.



That's what I was thinking, which is why I'm trying to find out now

Don't lose faith. Sometimes girls just meet this good, genuine down to earth guy, and once they get to know he is like this they just want to be friends because they have that guy they can rely on, and confide in etc... I can't tell you how many girls I have as friends and how many of them I was once interested in and got the "I value our friendship so much, and I don't want to ruin it so I would prefer to just be friends." speach. I am still really good friends with all of them, BUT I have found one that was willing to take the "risk" and we have been going out for a LONG time now. Just keep meeting woman, and you will find the one that knows you are worth having more than a friend.

lol. keep meeting them stacks at a time, use the defense (or in this case offense) in numbers strategy. you never know which one will take the bait

I've also had that with a few girls. I was in love with my best friends sister for a few years and she wouldn't even say a word to me. Then last year we became friends and now she is one of my best friends.

Think my problem is I don't meet new girls often at all. Mainly meet girls through friends, and the girls are a usually a few years younger than I am. Which doesn't help things much.

here's a whole other gameplan: why don't you tell the girl your intentions just after you two get to know a few things about each other?

That is actually what I do generally... Well ok it's what I used to do... It didn't seem to work that well, which is why I don't usually do that anymore.

I also had the old problem of becoming too good friends and then ti would seem out of line to take the friendship further - or risky if the "further" relationship didn't work out.

I can rather give this bit of advice: Stop looking, and let a relationship come looking for you.

Oh shit, what a feeling of deajavoo (spelling?) i just got.

I think lobo has point, that's what i've been doing lately and it seems to keep the lady's interested, dont tell or give to much, just enough to keep them coming back for more.(so to speak)

Or start looking in new places, online relationships are too "fake"

OH I LIKE U!!

People are different online, maybe they have a different perception of you, especially if you are all cool/confident online and less so in real life. They then think you arent the same person as your online persona and use the classic I LIKE U AS A FRIEND line

Start meeting people in the real world

True words, Hunter.

It sucks that girls never want to risk the friendship. I say be a bastard about it (never worked for me yet, though), and make it clear through your actions and not your words that you do not want a friendship. That they will have to take all or nothing.

That's boring though, then I have nothing to do... Tried that for a while, but since I don't meet new girls often, even online, doesn't work so well for me.



I'd much rather do that, just not always that easy. And when I never go out that doesn't help things much.

Any hobbies? besides the whole computer thing?

Join a club and meet people

Lol, a few

Going to gym, ice skating which I haven't done in around 4 months, squash which I also haven't played in about 3 months, playing pool which I never do anymore either.

Come to think of it I don't do much anymore since university started, maybe that's why I haven't been meeting any new girls.

Varisty is full of girls

Join some arb club that the chicklets belong to. Easy

That is true, I have noticed

I don't particularly want to join a club by myself though, and most of my friends aren't interested.

Still got two weeks of holiday, should make the most of it and try some new tihngs

Thanks for all the replies everyone. Most have been pretty helpful.

hehe. azgard, get off the pc and go mall-jacking and varsity is definately a place full of girls... at least in pta. btw the spelling is deja vù wolf

you go ice skating... wonder if I have actually met you... I used to skate a lot, but don't do so anymore. A few of my mates are wanting to go again, so I may be skating quite soon.

Doesn't varsity have a social club of sorts? If so I would suggest joining one. Hunter has a very good suggestion there, which I just leached off.

Well I went quite often last year, I went to the rink in Northgate.

I know I've seen Ravilj there quite a few times, might have seen you didn't know it. Alsways went on a Tuesday night when it was cheap

There should be some sort of social club/s, haven't really looked for any though so I'm not sure.

How long is a "while" though?

hunter has some lekker suggestions though...


Is that how u met your fiancee?

A while being more than a few months, closer to a few years

Ya he did, very helpful

Am I the only one who doesnt have troubles with finding girls?

all this talk of ice skating makes me want to go to kolonade.

I think so Juca You're lucky!!

I was actually just invited to go ice skating tonight with this girl I've never met and her friends. Talk about coincidence.. might actually go.

LOL - when you go after anything, you won't have problems. haha.

lobo: naaah I met a different girl at an arb club that introduced me to my fiance

I assume that was directed at me cyfermaster? That much is not true btw

of course it was directed at you.

azgard, you going somewhere with a girl you never met? i assume you met online or something. have you done it before? wonder if its weird...

Actually I've know her for about 3 years, met her at a friends party. Just never actually got around to seeing her at all in the past three years...

I have actually gone and met a girl or two that I've met online / never really seen before. Not so bad. Depends on the person you're meeting if it's weird or not

Pssst!...ultra secret tip!
Take $200 U.S. to a rosebank corner after 11pm to meet girls.
Keep this one to yourself ok?

lol when i saw last comment by blackrazor for this thread, i knew something like that was coming i suppose you right azgard still... i scheme the first time has that sense of wtf is this! haha

I don't even have $200, so looks like that isn't an option for me

Much cheaper to just go out somewhere and find a girl there Might be a bit more difficult, but a lot to cheaper to start off with at least.

lol, and maybe then the girl will be more interested in just your money...

Hmmm what about zimbabwean $? Chicks dig people who travel...exotic people...men who have suffered hardhsips...like no toilet paper or proper sanitation...so I've heard.

makes them all manly with the 'scars of war' and what not, huh?

Lol, we seem to have gone a bit off topic here

This is sorta on the same topic. Have you guys iin general had more luck with girls younger than you, roughly your age, or older than you?

Think one of my problems is most of the girls I seem to meet are all too young...

yeah sorry. honestly, every girl i've been with has been older than me, and so are most of the girls i meet... not that i'm complaining, but i actually do want to try be with a younger girl for once, see how it is.

Hmm, maybe I should try meet older girls for a change then. I prefer the younger ones but just don't ever seem to get anywhere.

younger girls appear to be more adventurous or willing to do things. or rather, more eager. but what do i know

A lot. "Always so eager to please"
Damn that makes me sound like a perving grandpa.

I dated old and cold and also young n hot. Go for something 2 years younger than you. Rule of thumb is that women are two years more mature than their male counterparts...in some places in the world...I wouldnt say that in S.A.

That's what I used to think, but have had almost no luck with younger girls so ya.

I remember hearing that women are two years more matures ages ago, never actually thought about it recently.

So I should be looking for some 18 year old girls

uhm, dont go for school girls. They have different priorities than you do. (hopefully).

And the conversation sorta ends after "uhm, so how was exams"

You speaking from experience Carrots?

Different priorities I agree with, a lot of the girls I am friends with are still in school. And my conversations with them don't really end that way, luckily.

definately don't go for grade 11 or younger. i think that it being half way through the year, matric girls might be a safe bet... after they stop whining about exams lol. but IMHO first year res girls are the way to go