I know it's a bit chauvanist (sp?), but I found it quite funny... no harm intended & some of the stuff I don't condone... just a bit of fun...
Brace yourselves ladies...
QUOTE
Things we wish girls knew…
We aren’t mind readers!
We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
When you sleep over never boss me around in bed unless it is during sex.
Smoking is the biggest turn off.
It never hurts to work out.
If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
“Fine” or “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
If you want sex, just ask. (In case you didn’t already know.)
Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
Only models are able to wear most of the stuff you see in fashion magazines.
No guy will complain if he comes home and sees you in one of the following
outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, or just plain naked.
You don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank top are fine by us.
Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
We are all kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just let us know.
Every so often no matter whether it is true or not remind us that we have the biggest 'equipment' you’ve ever dealt with.
If we're not getting love we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating.
Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so shower with us.
There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) You on top of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
We don’t mind going to gay movies with you but don’t tell our friends.
You can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports movies.
“The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
You’re probably not as funny as you think.
Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one more girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
Cooking makes a girl that much more attractive especially if she can use a grill.
You can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
If we want to take naked pictures of you it is because we are proud and want to show you off to our friends.
The red light means the video camera is off.
A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether you want to do it with the lights on or off.
Whip cream and chocolate syrup are not just condiments for ice cream.
Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
Critiquing our driving is only second to critiquing our love making.
Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer questions we could be castrated.
If you ask us to go shopping you have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
The jeans don’t make your ass look fat. Your fat ass makes your ass look fat.
99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you. We promise...
We aren’t mind readers!
We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
When you sleep over never boss me around in bed unless it is during sex.
Smoking is the biggest turn off.
It never hurts to work out.
If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
“Fine” or “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
If you want sex, just ask. (In case you didn’t already know.)
Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
Only models are able to wear most of the stuff you see in fashion magazines.
No guy will complain if he comes home and sees you in one of the following
outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, or just plain naked.
You don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank top are fine by us.
Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
We are all kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just let us know.
Every so often no matter whether it is true or not remind us that we have the biggest 'equipment' you’ve ever dealt with.
If we're not getting love we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating.
Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so shower with us.
There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) You on top of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
We don’t mind going to gay movies with you but don’t tell our friends.
You can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports movies.
“The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
You’re probably not as funny as you think.
Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one more girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
Cooking makes a girl that much more attractive especially if she can use a grill.
You can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
If we want to take naked pictures of you it is because we are proud and want to show you off to our friends.
The red light means the video camera is off.
A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether you want to do it with the lights on or off.
Whip cream and chocolate syrup are not just condiments for ice cream.
Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
Critiquing our driving is only second to critiquing our love making.
Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer questions we could be castrated.
If you ask us to go shopping you have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
The jeans don’t make your ass look fat. Your fat ass makes your ass look fat.
99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you. We promise...