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toasted
QUOTE
She's got her eye on you--and these small gestures will awaken desires she never knew she had

By: Sarah Miller

Rest assured, every woman wants to be seduced.

We just don't like guys who go for the seduction jugular: the champagne, the Barry White, the walk on the beach. A man who has tried one of these, or, God forbid, all of them at once, is a man who knows well the face of humiliation and failure.

No, the key to putting a woman in the mood for sex is not to advertise how much you want her, but, rather, to quietly make clear why she should want you. When it comes to sex, in other words, you don't need a billboard--you need sneaky subliminal messages.

They used to use tricks like these to sell more Coke at the movies. Now you can use them to get more women.


1. Ditch the cell.


(Wait. You'd better not be wearing one, because if you are, you're a walking seduction-free zone. This includes beepers.) First of all, women are very serious about our schedules, and if we've set aside time to spend with you, we're not keen on sharing it with your free minutes. Second, when chatting on the phone, you can't help but reveal some of the ins and outs of your work or private life, and that kind of openness is girly, creepy, and not sexy.

But here's the biggest problem: Any guy who can't go 2 hours without checking in with his friends, his job, his family, comes across as desperately insecure. Go ahead and actually turn it off in front of her. She will recognize you as the man who is comfortable and at peace with what's in front of him, and thank her stars you're not the guy who's always wondering what and who is next.

Watch out: Putting your phone on vibrate and repeatedly checking to see who's calling without answering not only is not seductive, but also shows you're kind of an arrogant jerk.

2. Fix something.

Men fixing broken things--light switches, toasters, clogged toilets--is a tradition that dates back to, well, a time when men did things besides nod, point, and hand other men their debit cards. We know that you probably can't gap your points or replace the alternator in your Hyundai. But with a little practice, and some very basic, moron-friendly manuals, you can do plenty of other tasks that would establish you as a Competent Male. If you're going to do this, though, try to do it in her presence. And it's okay, even advisable, to swear if you can't find the right tools, as long as you don't complain.

Danger zone: Don't get dirt on your face unless you're doing something fairly complicated. There's a fine line between looking manly and looking like a doofus with dirt on his face.

3. Read a book.


Allow me to interrupt that thrilling game of Ghost Recon to pose the following question: Do you have any idea of the mass quantity of ass you could get just by reading one book? Women read a lot, and, like pretty much everything else we do, we like to talk about it. Only we can rarely talk about it with guys, because, well, many of you (although not necessarily you personally) are Neanderthals growing slowly illiterate in front of an Xbox. But imagine yourself talking to a pretty woman, and she mentions that she's reading a book, and you've actually read it, too! So if this pretty woman thought you were cute, now she thinks you're smart, too. - Too true.

Also: Reading in public is a great way to give women an excuse to talk to you.

4. Replace the bottles on the office watercooler.

Modern life, what with its dearth of catapults, marauding wolves, and barn raisings, doesn't provide men with many opportunities to show off their brute strength. It's a very lucky accident that in the midst of all this ease-making progress, we've managed to poison our drinking-water supply.

And since somebody has to replace those unwieldy 5-gallon plastic containers on the office cooler, it might as well be you. It's such a quick, easy way to make the chicks in the office sit up and take notice of your athletic prowess. You know those bottles aren't that heavy, but who cares, because women think they are, Hercules.

Alternative: If you don't have a watercooler in your office, be the first to offer your man power when a stalled or stuck-in-the-snow car needs a push. You want to make your point and then get back to work. There's a reason they call it "the strong, silent type."

5. Write e-mails that are more than five syllables long.


If you're dating a woman, really like her, and yet insist on writing her e-mails that read "ok cu later," you are such an idiot that I don't even know why I'm trying to help you. Men are all about keeping things short and to the point. And when it comes to business correspondence or letting your friends know where you're watching the Dolphins game, that's fine. But short and to the point, in chick world, translates into BORING and UNIMAGINATIVE and--the worst sin of all--UNINTERESTED.

You don't have to get all Cyrano de Bergerac on her ass. But an interesting sentence or two, please, is so easy and so, so point scoring. Examples? She writes, "How was your night?" DO NOT write back, "It was okay." Even if all you did was drink two beers and watch CSI, have something to say. Like, "Do you think real female forensic investigators all wear those low-cut pants?" Just some evidence, please, that you are a living, breathing, thinking human being who doesn't spend all his time away from her staring at a wall. Because that's the image "It was okay" evokes.

Oh, and: "It was okay, how was yours?" is not an improvement over "It was okay." Cop-out is written all over it.

6. Disagree with her.

I have a friend, Nancy, who is extremely beautiful. She is the sort of woman for whom men will do just about anything. She sort of knows this, so she has a tendency to test the limits of their patience and generosity. One day, she was going on and on to her boyfriend about something he had done wrong. He apologized. He apologized twice. And she still went on and on. Finally, he looked right at her, at her perfect arms crossed self-righteously across her perfect breasts as her perfect mouth issued forth criticism after criticism, and said, "Would you please shut the fu-- up?"

She made passionate love to him thereafter and, basically, hasn't stopped since. We're not saying you should shoot down all our complaints by dropping f-bombs, but appeasement isn't always your best move, especially when we've gotten out of hand.

Moral: We're pathetic this way, but you're at your most attractive when you're just totally over us.


Source
hiccupsie
No 1 definitely gets my vote clap.gif
Badavis
[qote]Haha that was really good tongue.gif I liked the part about replacing the waterbottles[/qote]

ohh damn, that quote looks "broken" let me, "fix it" wink.gif
QUOTE
Haha that was really good tongue.gif I liked the part about replacing the waterbottles

There.

*ahem biggrin.gif
KL35K88
mmmm.... interesting.... cool.gif

only problem with the waterbottels - i work in a All married office, i'm the only single one around, and the youngest. DAMN!

For the others - hey GF, has made me smile a few times due to them... smoke.gif
Shi-shi
I dont know about other females.. but none of those things turn me on.. or makes me want to jump my bf....

ditch the cell? hmmmm... ok sometimes its annoying when it rings often.. but when his busy with you. he aint suppose to be interested in anything else.. and besides its so much fun when he answers the phone and you continue to kiss him and stuff knowing that he cant do anything because his on the phone.. and knowing how he is going to make you pay once he gets off it... he he

fix something? as if i can't fix it my damn self...

read a book? in bed? one word: BORING.. bed is for sleep and sex.. period

replace the bottles on the water office cooler? i don't even have any words for that one...

write emails more than 5 syllables long? yeah i can see that one.. oh baby... i like the way you wrote that sentence.. come here.. take me.. take me!!

disagree with her? errr.... so you supposed to agree with your girl all the time? wtf? what happen to individuality and sense of self... it she looks fat... she look fat.. if she disagrees with your honesty.. tough... disagreeing with me does not turn me on.. in fact agreeing with me that it is absolutely a must to get to that bed.. now that turns me on..
BlackRazor
Disagree with her... yeah and while you;re at it tell her she's looking like Ms Piggy in that thong. I believe that falls in line with suicide.

I always thought the six things were:

1.Shut da fuck up and listen
2.Brings Gifts
3.Repeat 1 & 2
4.See above
5.See above
6.See above
FruitLoop
QUOTE
1. Ditch the cell.

(Wait. You'd better not be wearing one, because if you are, you're a walking seduction-free zone. This includes beepers.) First of all, women are very serious about our schedules, and if we've set aside time to spend with you, we're not keen on sharing it with your free minutes. Second, when chatting on the phone, you can't help but reveal some of the ins and outs of your work or private life, and that kind of openness is girly, creepy, and not sexy.

But here's the biggest problem: Any guy who can't go 2 hours without checking in with his friends, his job, his family, comes across as desperately insecure. Go ahead and actually turn it off in front of her. She will recognize you as the man who is comfortable and at peace with what's in front of him, and thank her stars you're not the guy who's always wondering what and who is next.

Watch out: Putting your phone on vibrate and repeatedly checking to see who's calling without answering not only is not seductive, but also shows you're kind of an arrogant jerk.


insecurity is the biggest turn off in the world ! also a guy thats always smsing seems very pathetic sorry to say


QUOTE
2. Fix something.

Men fixing broken things--light switches, toasters, clogged toilets--is a tradition that dates back to, well, a time when men did things besides nod, point, and hand other men their debit cards. We know that you probably can't gap your points or replace the alternator in your Hyundai. But with a little practice, and some very basic, moron-friendly manuals, you can do plenty of other tasks that would establish you as a Competent Male. If you're going to do this, though, try to do it in her presence. And it's okay, even advisable, to swear if you can't find the right tools, as long as you don't complain.

Danger zone: Don't get dirt on your face unless you're doing something fairly complicated. There's a fine line between looking manly and looking like a doofus with dirt on his face.


being useless is gay ... its fine being a modern man and metero and all that but damn guys - please dont loose your manhood !! its like my mother is more handy than my father and it sucks !! handymen are starting to sound more appealing than IT geeks ... and thats whack coming from me

QUOTE
3. Read a book.

Allow me to interrupt that thrilling game of Ghost Recon to pose the following question: Do you have any idea of the mass quantity of ass you could get just by reading one book? Women read a lot, and, like pretty much everything else we do, we like to talk about it. Only we can rarely talk about it with guys, because, well, many of you (although not necessarily you personally) are Neanderthals growing slowly illiterate in front of an Xbox. But imagine yourself talking to a pretty woman, and she mentions that she's reading a book, and you've actually read it, too! So if this pretty woman thought you were cute, now she thinks you're smart, too. - Too true.

Also: Reading in public is a great way to give women an excuse to talk to you.


I love men that likes to read ... it shows youve got something between your ears and you have other interests than computers/ sport/games ...gives a man 'depth' and it also helps a lot with spelling - guys that cant spell seem stupid

QUOTE
4. Replace the bottles on the office watercooler.

Modern life, what with its dearth of catapults, marauding wolves,and barn raisings, doesn't provide men with many opportunities to show off their brute strength. It's a very lucky accident that in the midst of all this ease-making progress, we've managed to poison our drinking-water supply.

And since somebody has to replace those unwieldy 5-gallon plastic containers on the office cooler, it might as well be you. It's such a quick, easy way to make the chicks in the office sit up and take notice of your athletic prowess. You know those bottles aren't that heavy, but who cares, because women think they are, Hercules.

Alternative: If you don't have a watercooler in your office, be the first to offer your man power when a stalled or stuck-in-the-snow car needs a push. You want to make your point and then get back to work. There's a reason they call it "the strong, silent type."


laugh.gif
once again ... dont be affraid of breaking your nails ... keep telling yourself 'im a man , im a man , im a man'

QUOTE

5. Write e-mails that are more than five syllables long.


If you're dating a woman, really like her, and yet insist on writing her e-mails that read "ok cu later," you are such an idiot that I don't even know why I'm trying to help you. Men are all about keeping things short and to the point. And when it comes to business correspondence or letting your friends know where you're watching the Dolphins game, that's fine. But short and to the point, in chick world, translates into BORING and UNIMAGINATIVE and--the worst sin of all--UNINTERESTED.

You don't have to get all Cyrano de Bergerac on her ass. But an interesting sentence or two, please, is so easy and so, so point scoring. Examples? She writes, "How was your night?" DO NOT write back, "It was okay." Even if all you did was drink two beers and watch CSI, have something to say. Like, "Do you think real female forensic investigators all wear those low-cut pants?" Just some evidence, please, that you are a living, breathing, thinking human being who doesn't spend all his time away from her staring at a wall. Because that's the image "It was okay" evokes.

Oh, and: "It was okay, how was yours?" is not an improvement over "It was okay." Cop-out is written all over it.


true true ... just dont start writing letters that are pages and pages long ... or a thousand messages each day - thats just creepy

QUOTE
6. Disagree with her.

I have a friend, Nancy, who is extremely beautiful. She is the sort of woman for whom men will do just about anything. She sort of knows this, so she has a tendency to test the limits of their patience and generosity. One day, she was going on and on to her boyfriend about something he had done wrong. He apologized. He apologized twice. And she still went on and on. Finally, he looked right at her, at her perfect arms crossed self-righteously across her perfect breasts as her perfect mouth issued forth criticism after criticism, and said, "Would you please shut the fu-- up?"

She made passionate love to him thereafter and, basically, hasn't stopped since. We're not saying you should shoot down all our complaints by dropping f-bombs, but appeasement isn't always your best move, especially when we've gotten out of hand.

Moral: We're pathetic this way, but you're at your most attractive when you're just totally over us.


yup ... we love guys that shows they just dont care whether we want them or not. a little insecurity can be very good for us. it gets boring when guys do everything to please us

just dont go being a complete asshole towards us , thats also a no no

YouAreForever
Fruitloop you hit it right on the dot there...

Treshi , I think you misunderstood some the points thats being made. You took it up TOO literally, those are just metaphors for male behavioural patterns that turn women on!

Wolf
Hi there YouAreForever
BlackRazor
yes and lets not forget that the pheromones in male sweat turn em on aswell...science determined it awakens something something and bleh. But no gents its no excuse for not showering...althought his theory would prove why women always went for the greasy, bum like arse in school.
W@RP@T}{
Putting the shoe on the other foot. If I get into bed and my wife opens a book it's instant snore time. I dont read any books, i'm still clever so WTF cares, she knows i'm clever, if I opened a book she'd say WTF is wrong with you where's my attention.

Why is it always the men that have to do the work all the time. Woman should learn to take the leap to make the move themselves.
FruitLoop
i also think reading a book in bed isnt a turn on ... its kinda dull ... but men that read when were not around and have a book collection is rowr

and the smell of a nice cologne is the uberest rowriest thing ever !!!!!! wub.gif
YouAreForever
I think the whole reading a book in bed thing is being too far here.. the reading a book thing mean that a man can occupy himself without "mindless" entertainment such as games and watching football. It shows that the man has some depth in him and is intelligent!

@Blackrazor, thats true man! The male pheromone is released through the sweat glands underneath the arms. It acts as a natural aphrodisiac.
Evernight
no 1 gets every womens vote yet when I dont bring home a big bonus from the work I wasn't allowed to speak to its my fault dry.gif
toasted
Urm, most of you seemed to have read it wrong: nowhere did it say "read a book in bed" - it just said read a book. The girl doesn't have to be there, FruitLoop has the right idea here. Just show us you have something between those ears. Women love intelligent men.

And to be honest, Treshi, every one of those things turn me on - and it seems FruitLoop agrees, as does the author, so I'm sure there must be lots of other girls that feel the same way.

Every point describes a trait that a guy should have if I were to take an interest in him.
HowlinMadMurdoc
QUOTE
4. Replace the bottles on the office watercooler.

the problem i find is that relasionships with people you work with can cause huge problems. i can vouch for this.

QUOTE
3. Read a book.

im a book addict. and this works both ways, i find women that read alot interesting and i can actually have a proper conversation with someone about books.
YouAreForever
QUOTE(toasted @ Sep 22 2005, 01:50 PM)
Urm, most of you seemed to have read it wrong:  nowhere did it say "read a book in bed" - it just said read a book.  The girl doesn't have to be there, FruitLoop has the right idea here.  Just show us you have something between those ears.  Women love intelligent men.

And to be honest, Treshi, every one of those things turn me on - and it seems FruitLoop agrees, as does the author, so I'm sure there must be lots of other girls that feel the same way. 

Every point describes a trait that a guy should have if I were to take an interest in him.
*



Exactly Toasted! Thats why I said too!
Chatsubo
QUOTE(FruitLoop)
handymen are starting to sound more appealing than IT geeks


Whoa there, back up for a moment.... Where are these IT geek loving, handyman craving women you speak of?

Seriously, being an IT prof, who insists on fixing his own car, TV, electronics, builds lots of stuff, Who reads a LOT, makes quite a bit of money, And does some sport at least once a week...

AND is desperately single. I can attest that this is NOT all it takes to get a woman's attention. Sometimes I just feel there's no pleasing females.

QUOTE(FruitLoop)
guys that cant spell seem stupid


"can't", and "that" should be "who". tongue.gif
FruitLoop
gee thanx for that grammar/spelling lesson ... im afrikaans dude blush.gif
BlackRazor
You have our pity and if necessary we will offer you a new passport, identity and a fake accent.
FruitLoop
cool afro.gif do you think afro will go with my personality ? laugh.gif tongue.gif
hiccupsie
If I had to make my own list off the top of my head it would be (in no particular order ofcourse)

He'd have to :

1. Be uncomfortably honest with me at All times
2. Be totally unselfish with his affection (If the two of us are alone in the same
room and he isn't touching me - thumbdown.gif
3. Compliment me when I make an effort to look real nice for him
4. Be willing to talk to me about the future and more importantly be wiling to get
totally excited about it
5. Be positive when I find it real hard to be
6. Choose MY company cause he wants to be with me not cause he feels 'obliged'
to do so

kthx biggrin.gif
cyfermaster
QUOTE
1. Be uncomfortably honest with me at All times
2. Be totally unselfish with his affection (If the two of us are alone in the same
room and he isn't touching me - thumbdown.gif
3. Compliment me when I make an effort to look real nice for him
4. Be willing to talk to me about the future and more importantly be wiling to get
totally excited about it
5. Be positive when I find it real hard to be
6. Choose MY company cause he wants to be with me not cause he feels 'obliged'
to do so

Sounds like you looking for me. biggrin.gif hehe
BlackRazor
Caution..Razor thoughts ahead.

QUOTE
2. Be totally unselfish with his affection (If the two of us are alone in the same
room and he isn't touching me - thumbdown.gif

Why? Is your body decaying at an alarming rate and he has to make sure that everything stays where it is? Hey..most men and by most I mean me touch ourselves during the day to rearrange our package (dont ask), we sneeze, we touch unpleasant things (see point 1) and then the women want us to touch them every minute? Hey its your funeral.

QUOTE
1. Be uncomfortably honest with me at All times

He isnt a man if he is...or you have successfully flashed his programming to level 4 slave

QUOTE
3. Compliment me when I make an effort to look real nice for him

You're already beautiful...why repeat the same story over and over? Besides his erection should say enough.

QUOTE
4. Be willing to talk to me about the future and more importantly be wiling to get totally excited about it

If its a good story like the time you got kidnapped by Bill Clinton and the cigar afficiendos...sure.


QUOTE
5. Be positive when I find it real hard to be

Did AIDS get kosher? Damn I gotta get me some of that.

QUOTE
6. Choose MY company cause he wants to be with me not cause he feels 'obliged' to do so

Thou shalt always be faithful and true to the supplier of nookie....Amen.
Fishfly
wow black you should write your own philosphy book w00t.gif

BLACKRAZOR FOR PRESIDENT clap.gif
Shi-shi
like i said before... and i'll say again.. none of those things appeal to me.. the article was about and i quote "gestures will awaken desires she never knew she had".... all six awakens absolutely no desire in me.. i might be impressed that you reading a book or fixing something.. but desire awkening? no.. not for me... guess i'm a different type of woman...
docmoo
maybe you are, but i honestly prefer a woman who is more into the 6 things described than the woman that goes by the saying 'bed is only for sex' ':/
(not a personal attack)

i also like to watch tv in bed ':(
Shi-shi
my bedroom is my sanctuary... i dont have any appliances in it.. or anything else electrical... its the one place i know i can come to to relax.. and sleep... and yes for sex too... tv is watched in the lounge... and any other things are done outside the bedroom.. so that we know when we get to the bedroom.. its our own space... our own area... and by the way...i do see that as a personal attack ...
docmoo
ok, that's what you do in your room with 'your space'

my room has everything in it that i need, computer, tv, bed, etc. so yar, it's used differently.

take it as you please, it's not the way i am intending for it to be interpretted, especially when i said 'this is not a personal attack'
hiccupsie
QUOTE(BlackRazor @ Sep 23 2005, 01:54 PM)
Caution..Razor thoughts ahead.

QUOTE
2. Be totally unselfish with his affection (If the two of us are alone in the same
room and he isn't touching me - thumbdown.gif

Why? Is your body decaying at an alarming rate and he has to make sure that everything stays where it is? Hey..most men and by most I mean me touch ourselves during the day to rearrange our package (dont ask), we sneeze, we touch unpleasant things (see point 1) and then the women want us to touch them every minute? Hey its your funeral.

QUOTE
1. Be uncomfortably honest with me at All times

He isnt a man if he is...or you have successfully flashed his programming to level 4 slave

QUOTE
3. Compliment me when I make an effort to look real nice for him

You're already beautiful...why repeat the same story over and over? Besides his erection should say enough.

QUOTE
4. Be willing to talk to me about the future and more importantly be wiling to get totally excited about it

If its a good story like the time you got kidnapped by Bill Clinton and the cigar afficiendos...sure.


QUOTE
5. Be positive when I find it real hard to be

Did AIDS get kosher? Damn I gotta get me some of that.

QUOTE
6. Choose MY company cause he wants to be with me not cause he feels 'obliged' to do so

Thou shalt always be faithful and true to the supplier of nookie....Amen.
*



Omw ermm.gif

BlackRazor a real charmer you are tongue.gif
Valheru
Secret way number 7:

7. Show the Gold

Let the lady catch a glimpse of your gold credit card. This will send her into a state of stalking your ass, even if you are fugly and have no personality.
YouAreForever
QUOTE(Valheru @ Sep 26 2005, 08:40 AM)
Secret way number 7:

7. Show the Gold

Let the lady catch a glimpse of your gold credit card. This will send her into a state of stalking your ass, even if you are fugly and have no personality.
*



LOL

Yeah thats also true... why don't the women of the forum tell us exactly what "awakens" them?
hiccupsie
QUOTE(cyfermaster @ Sep 23 2005, 01:19 PM)
Sounds like you looking for me. biggrin.gif hehe
*



Funny - specially coming from a man that's SPOKEN FOR ! banned.gif

I'll just add a no7 then - I need a man that doesn't feel the need to flirt with every being online tongue.gif

YouAreForever
but but but flirting online is sooo much fun... hehehe tongue.gif tongue.gif
BlackRazor
Man who doesnt need flirting, probably needs a sense of humour, a steady income, charming, attractive and should not be boring...why thats me.
On second thought....Naaaah I'm already cheating on leftie with rightie. It just wouldnt be right to include another being while my feet are itching. Not too mention that I'm already pretty deranged and a 7th voice in my life would drive me and my current woman over the edge...although she would use less fuel all banged up.
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