Hi
Could you ppl just give me sum advice?

I have been with my girlfriend for just over 3 years now. It started off fantastic.

We are very similar and have the same outlook on life, but the last year and a half has been dreadful and can't understand how it got that way. I will try to cut the story short, we've both suffered from depression, we've had money troubles like most, we lost our baby last year, and due to my g/f's mixed up parents they have caused my g/f a lot of stress and anger etc, so with all this, we have had a big strain on our relationship. This has then caused arguments, resentment the usual emotions whilst battling to save a relationship.

The last half of my relationship my g/f hasn't treated me how she should, but i am not the kind of person to just walk away at the sign of trouble, I have tried so hard to make it work etc, but until recently I have started to feel tired with the whole effort.
I still love my girlfriend, but now due to some of her stress's recently she's been drinking alot and has caused herself a lot of problems and has basically pushed me away, we have a very complex relationship due to her past issues and the problems that have occurred with her drinking etc.
Anyway three times I have threatened to finish it, not cause I didn't want to be with her, but it was causing me to be hurt all the time and its getting me to breaking point.
I decided last thursday after a final let down that I couldn't take anymore, so I finished it by sms, I would of done it face to face, but she was ignoring me.We are both 23 so its not like we aren't adults, but I had enough.

Within that week I have had several offers and met a couple of people, nothings happend, but this one chick is interested in me, and although I like her, i am not sure it feels right to suddenly meet up with her, even for a drink, one half of me gets excited and thinks it will do me good, but the other, inside makes me feel sick as I have very strong feelings for my ex.
I didn't want to break up with my ex, i just had no choice because of the downward spiral she was taking me to.
She's started to pull herself up and has a better and more respectable job, but she has a lot of emotional issues in her head, which is whats stopping me from going back.
I don't know if I am making the right decision, i love her so much, but dont' want to fall for it again and think it will work, and I don't want to miss my opportunity of happiness if this is whats supposed to be happening.

I don't know if I did the right thing as I feel awful and confused.
Please help.

Well, first off, you should never break up with someone over sms - that would just leave her feeling more depressed. You should speak to her, and tell her what you're thinking/feeling, and tell her why you broke it off with her, so she can understand that she needs to fix the problem - maybe get professional help if the problem is that serious?

At the same time, I feel that you should always go with your instinct - if your heart told you something was wrong, and you weren't happy, then why put yourself through all that?

If you can't see yourself living without her, maybe you should seek counselling. On the other hand, the best thing you can do is go out, and meet other people - that's the only way you'll get over her.

Tough call, but I personally would never ever let go of someone I loved no matter what. In essence all chicks have issues they just come in different forms.

Warpath: I know what you are saying, but I do agree that when their problems start effecting you in a serious way, as has happened to this poor guy, it is necessary.

Dude, I know that you love her, and you probably always will, but do you really want to spend the rest of your life in fear of her having a relapse?

What happens if you get back together, get married and then have a child. She relapses into depression and alcaholism, and becomes a serious threat to your childs life. Divorce at that stage would affect your child seriously as well.

You would need to think about what you are giving up, but also what you are avoiding.

Maybe it is a little too soon for you to start dating again, I dont know, that is your decision and yours alone, because everyone is different and deals with things in different ways.

Personally, I would be spending a hell of a lot of time with my friends, and not really looking at girls too much. If someone came along, I wouldnt refuse it, I would continue with life. But remember, that is just me, the correct answer lies wih you.

Good luck, and kep us posted on what you decide to do.

^^ Good advice Gitano

For some reason I missed the part of the drinking. This can cause huge problems, my friend is in the same boat, he got married 2 months ago , gave up drinking (himself and his wife) she is bi-polar and gets extremely aggressive etc. under the influence, he almost ended it all yesterday because she came home smashed. Form what i've seen I couldn't put myself into that situation..... I feel for you but would change my focus to rather let go because she will never change the drinking and ultimately you could end up in a situation that nobody wants to be in

Okay people. Just because the person has a drinking problem is no reason to end things. And I am not saying this is what Anon did. This is the time that the person needs all the support they can get. Having someone tell you that they are leaving you because you are drinking doesn't always have the desired effect. i.e. Doesn't always make the person stop, in fact in my experience it makes the person drink more, as they feel more of a failure, and they feel that they have let everyone down. Then the alcohol fuels the fire. You feel more depressed, and then of course you drink more.

My family has been through this, and only through supporting a certain member in our family have we managed to stay together as a family. Yes things were tough in the beginning, but we worked through them.