Here is a pickle of a situation. If you were going out with someone, and believed they really loved you, then you'd believe that they'd do anything to stay with you... or at least I would.

Now, most people say that if you cheat in a relationship its over. Most people also "say" that they'd tell their partner if they did cheat on them. See there is the complication. Either they would lie to you, or they don't actually love you that much. Yes you can trust someone, but mistakes happen and you never trust someone as much as you trust yourself... truely..

If they don't lie, they stand a chance of losing you which you've been lead to believe that they'd do anything to avoid... If they do lie to you, you'll never know. So if you're truely loved, you're basically screwed? The best you can hope for is someone who couldn't care whether they lose you or not and for them not to meet anyone...

Love is a difficult thing.

In the situation you mentioned, it's pretty much a lose-lose situation, unless the person has the balls to come out and say "I'm sorry, I made a mistake". If I had that happen to me, I'd take it as it comes, and know that even I could have made that mistake, or any mistake.

I would really appreciate the person being able to tell me - it would just make it so much worse, to find out a year or more down the line that it had happened, and they were too scared to tell you.

But with them telling you that they've made a mistake - it's proof that they believe in, and have faith in the relationship, knowing they are putting it at risk, but at the same time, knowing that the two of you will work together through the problem.

Mine cheated on me and it's deader than Tutankamun!

I would never trust here again - ever.

Once trust is broken it takes a long long time to build it up again.

toasted thats the one half of it - which isn't the bad half. Its what if they don't tell you because they are infact too scared to lose you.

If they do tell you, then its bad as well - not only have they cheated on you, but they've also decided you matter less than eleviating their guilt.

That's true. If only it was so much easier. Why, did someone cheat on your Evernight?

A few years back when I was still a "baby" I had a boyfriend that cheated on me three times. Although it was crap, it didn't mean that much to me - I moved on, but thats undoubtedly just cos it wasn't real love.

I'm glad I've never had to deal with it on such a level, because, honestly, I don't know what I'd do in that situation.

I would hate to be so broken-hearted.

No I've never had to deal with it either. But how the hell do you trust someone then...

That's just a thing you need - faith.

In real love, no one would do that to you. Real love.

Or so you think until it does happen, because either until you die, or it happens, you'll never know

Faith? I don't think this word exists anymore. Or its just VERY blurred.

it still exists for me.

You can't trust anyone! Don't fall for it!

Yeah well then again you did not meet all the wrong people at the right time (like me). My last excursion into dating resulted in me finding out a WHOLE FUKKING WEEK later that she's back with her ex. Tell me then, where should i go look for faith if this is the kind of slap i get every once i a while?

Or the time before that when i was told the she needed "to date around" still, but don't want to lose me. Yeah i fall for this often....*kick*.... (she got the boot for that).

Thus i still agree with:

We should all have our own personalised set of 'boundaries' that are very clear, right from the very beginning of any relationship, not only to ourselves but also to our partners.

To quote the lovely Dr Phil "Once your partner engages in any kind of behaviour that you have described to them as being part of your list of 'dealbreakers' you hold your head up, turn around and walk away - cause You are worth More than that.

Now ladies I'm not talking about when he leaves the toilet seat up etc etc
And gentlemen when she nearly suffocates you with perfume fumes whilst she's getting ready, deal with it

I'm talking about Real issues, things that hurt, things that would change the way you look at yourself, your partner And your relationship...

To name but a few of mine: Abuse - be it in any way emotional or physical, cheating - in ANY form (cause how convenient has it not become to go 'oh but it was only an online flirtation it didn't mean anything') Passivity - I like life in the dynamic world and if things need doing I want a partner that would be willing to roll up his sleeves and get with the program, not sulk and wait for someone else to come do whatever For us Lack of Any type of hygiene

...and so I could carry on

I find that most people cant answer immediately when asked what exactly it is they crave and expect from a partner That is very very problematic seeing as everyone knows exactly what it is they Don't want.

When I'm single I spend my time On myself not neccesarily By myself, I try and think about who I want to be when the man of my dreams meets me and then I work towards that

You can be who and whatever you Want to be - Be all that. When someone comes along that ticks all your boxes, be proud of who you are and don't settle for anything less than you need.

If you've set up your own structure Before he or she comes along you'd know what to do in the event of any type of dealbreaker situation...

And hunter... trust is earned not demandable, if she was / is worth your trust, she will know that

Me exactly. Minus the Man part of course

Rush said something to me once on msn, something along the lines of "there is no group, no 'in'-crowd, you are either who you want to be, or you are not. you make your own way in life"
I have lived by that since, things are working out pretty damn well

After cheating. I trusted.
I did, but things were just not the same. I loved her, I mean I really did, but after that, things just werent the same for me, I dont think I ever gave my complete and utter faith back. It hurt her more in the end, so whatever!

Trust is definately a big part of life. In my opinion, without some form of trust, there is no reason to live, is there?