Quoted
Celeb’s Say the Darndest Things

Tommy Lee: “I met Pamela Anderson by licking her face. I’d recommend it.” – We’ll stick to shaking hands, kthnx.

Jennifer Connelly: “I am not paying $5,000 a month for a box above a funeral parlour!” When looking for a flat.

Ioan Gruffud: “I look at girls like Britney Spears and Paris. It’s just about sex and selling their bodies. I think it’s tarty. Personally, I enjoy the elegance and mystery of a woman.” Who the hell is this guy, and who does he think he is? No one disses Britney and gets away with it

Nicole Richie: “I want elephant rides and swans. He wants, like, five people at our wedding.” When talking about her wedding with her fiancé.

Pamela Anderson: “I can cut glass with my nipples.” o_O

Johnny Depp: “You get liquored up, and once you are in that spiral, you don’t get hangovers. You wake up and have another drink.” Have one on us.

Charlotte Church: “People were saying, ‘You need to see someone, you’ve got a lot on your plate.’ I was sitting there thinking, ‘Bollocks’.” Clearly, Charlotte and counselling don’t mix.

Pete Doherty: “I wasn’t out of it on drugs. Just before I went on stage, peaches [Geldof] squeezed my bum hard and whispered something rather suggestive to me. It left me in shock.” Unsurprisingly, she says you’re lying.

Victoria Beckham: “I told [Snoop], ‘Look Mr Snoopy, you’re not taking my husband out – I know your reputation.’ I don’t think he liked me calling him Mr Snoopy. He didn’t find it funny.” Bitch, are you trying to get yourself shot?!?

Jessica Simpson: “Nick and I love to be bored.”

Salma Hayek: “One boyfriend told me, ‘You have stretch marks because you’re a tiger!’” I don’t recommend you guys trying this one on your girlfriend. *cough*cheesy*cough*

George Clooney: “I’m actually a much better ex-boyfriend than boyfriend.”

Madonna: “I bumped into Ricky [Gervais] and said I’d sweep the floor for him if he’d employ me.” Talking about Ricky from The Office fame, who is her idol.

Katie Holmes: “I eat too much sugar. But if you’re not eating enough sugar, you’re not living in my opinion. You’ve got to have some guar – dark chocolate, cookies, cheesecake…” Mebbe that’s why she’s so sickly sweet. Teehee.

from the

Elvis Presley (1935-1977) - I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Sports (well, most of them anyway)



Alan Minter - "Sure, there have been deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
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New Zealand Rugby Commentator- "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
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Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator- "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
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Winston Bennett- "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
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Murray Walker- F1 Racing Commentator- "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical."
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Greg Norman- "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my Father and Mother."
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Terry Venables- "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
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Ron Atkinson- "I would not say that David Ginola is the best left winger in the premiership, but there are none better."
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Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977- "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."
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Metro Radio- "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field "
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David Acfield- "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air for even longer."
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Stuart Hall- Radio 5 live- "What will you do when you leave football Jack? Will you stay in football?"
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David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics- "And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."
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Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator- "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"
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US PGA Commentator- "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.... Oh my God!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"
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True Story- A female news anchor who, the day after it was suppose to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too because they were all laughing so hard!

Jack Nicholson -"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a 'Son of a Bitch'."