This is purely for statistical reasons.....

A chick gets all weak at the knees and thinks about a guy nearly all the time when she finally admits to liking the guy. Nearly every waking moment is spent thinking about him, and she is unable to go a day without the sms, phone call, or email from him. If a week goes by and she doesn't see him it feels like her world will come crashing down around her......

In the end if he doesn't like her, she swears off men and will NEVER date them again or even look at them again and next thing you know she is besotted with another guy!

Do guys do the same thing???

No

That's the simple answer

Well not that besotted, I dont go weak at the knees.
When I like a girl I do think about her all the time but seeing as I'm generally always turned down or ignored (except once) I dont wait for any communication, I just sit and wait for the feelings to end.
/me waits to see what he is called

Wow, that would be exactly my scenario if you changed "except once" to "except never".

Damn so that's why I'm always in shit

well as far as it goes I feel all jelly like when the lady - I like is around

Ow, i know what it's like,
but it's quite funny to hear it from someone else.

Well every girl I've asked out has turned me down but my ex gf asked me out, hence the "except once" because she didnt ignore me for a while. ahhh good times

Right so basically I am in the same boat as all you guys... with the exception that I am a chick!!!

yeah i guess so

there is one girl i am very friendly with, not the best looking but something about her keeps me doing stupid things as well dont worry

ouch...some real honesty in the above posts

Catherine, I can solve my problem and yours. We can just go out.
If you live in JHB.
Problem is we probably wont like each other.
It wont work will it?

Void - That's a cheap shot even compared to my low standards, and I'm a certified bastard (I did the internet test)

Aceius when you have resorted to asking random girls out for coffee and get ignored on internet dating sties you know you've hit rock bottom.

When I love somebody I can't stop thinking about them and I crave the attention back from that person. If I don't hear from my gf for a day (nevermind a week) I will go crazy in my mind and will be like a mentally unstable yoyo. Although once the love fades I tend to cut down and just disconnect from that person and continue the show!

Void: This happens when you search too hard. It's an old, worn-out cliché, I know, but (in my case especially) it was true!

As soon as you relax about it, things start happening. I do remember myself posting something about this somewhere on this board...

Erk I'm posting to much now.
Acieus I spent up until 18 just waiting and getting told I wasnt trying hard enough so now I'm going for the other extreme it seems.

Void: I was 23 when I got my first gf, and for the last couple of years we're living happily ever after

Don't let ppl talk crap into your head about you're not looking hard enough. In time everything happens...

Catherine: How does this work from a woman's perspective? Do you just wait to be asked, or do you actively go out and look for (prospective) dates/bf's?

If a guy was to adopt that approach, Catherine, he'd most likely be seen as "needy" or "desperate", which just makes him unappealing to most women. This is where the age-old adage of "nice guys finish last" and "treat them ruff, and get the muff" comes from.

Guys have to play it cool, in my opinion.

As an aside, this Onion article about the "friend zone" seems appropriate

Void, hunny, you toooo young for me.... so ummm NO

Aceius: Trust me I have been out there looking, irc, forums, datingbuzz.... only freaks and wierdos are out there. I have given up on nice men!

StanDarsh: I will wait at the finish line!!!!

You know i was in the same boat as most of you guys. Like Void, i was trying way to hard to look for the right girl, in fact I just started to lose interest in such things as my life became one big huge routine. You know, sleep, work, eat and sleep. In fact I would most probably be classed as a nice guy who finishes last.

I wasnt looking for love or companionship, even though i craved it subconciously, but what happened next just happened out of the blue. I met this AMAZING woman ( which im very sure most of you guys know on these forums as YANA/MARIA ) nearly 2 years ago. I was and am totally smitten with her and all i can say is that we are going to be together for the rest of our lives. and i feel like i have just won the race in 1st place. Yes you too can finish first even if you dont think it is ever possible.

Catherine, theres somebody out there for you im sure. Just keep looking, but dont look to hard. Hell i wonder if this makes sense to anyone but me..

I am currently into some one I met about 2 years ago.

Man she's really gorgeous.

I get shy when I am around the women I like.

Weird... and I am usually such an extrovert!

void, be patient and wait until you finish your degree... thats what most of us electrical engineers must go through
otherwise u can always fail and go do bcom/bsc/ba... plenty of girl friends to make there

I think we males also become blithering idiots around women we like, but I've never put so much emphasis on feelings I have for someone I'm not going out with (yet).

There is always that time when you get dumped, or find out the person you like doesn't like you, and it sucks just as bad for us as it does for women; however, I've found the fastest way to dispel any leftover feelings for someone is to find a new target


Hey, what's THAT supposed to mean? It is true though; void, maybe you should venture to Wits' East Campus and behold all the talent we BA students have been depriving you engineers of!

Before moving to Dubai I hadn't had a girlfriend, I mean the closest I ever got to a woman was a best friend

But then I move here, and Im off balance, I have a fresh start where nobody knows me, and Im just looking to fit in to this new place, and someone fell into my lap. I mean seriously, I had hardly even noticed her (I had only been here for like 3 weeks) And I get told she digs me. And of course me being the oppotunist, and never having had this before, I went for it, and we were together for over a year, it was amazing.

The moment you are not consciously looking for someone, they arrive.

Thats for me anyway. Since I have had one girlfriend, and I dont know, since I was able to start fresh here, people percieve me differently and I am treated diferently. Seriously, in SA I was a nerd, here I am like part of what I suppose could be considered the popular group even though I know Im sounding like a bastard here thats how it is. When I visit home, I have no friends excpet for one, no one else would even remember my name.

So, my advice would be to find a new group of people, try something new, go to a bar you have never been to before, and STOP looking for people on the internet!

No. I am in a situation where I'm totally in love with this girl BUT, wait for it, she is married. She phones me alot and we can talk for hours on end. Note : nothing has ever happened physically between us. It is a concious choice on my behalf and she understands it and respects me for it. She even asked me once, that if she were to leave her husband, if I would marry her. She knows how I feel about her, but seeing that she is married, I cannot show her how I feel. If surcumstances were different, I think our relationship would have end up in marriage.
So, as for waiting for something to happen, it happens eventually. The thing is it just happened way different than I expected. You must know, I love this girl but I won't end my life if I cant be with her. It is a pity though...

Adieu

Ummmm yeah right. The internet is safe. I am not one to go "pick up" some one in a bar/club/whatever. Honestly I dont even go out unless I go with a friend, not even meeting someone there I have to go with them.

This brings up the age old question I am hearing more and more....

Where do you go to meet someone new??

Of course there's the age-old answer of pubs, clubs, etc. but I think you should always look for people where you're most comfortable, an environment where you're likely to meet someone that's your type.

I met a super-hottie at Night Shift (shudder) several years ago who was clearly making moves on me, but after some brief conversation I realised she was not my type at all and that nothing great would ever come from it; notice I also showed extreme self-control and avoided a one-night stand Ah, gimme a down-to-earth Doors girl any day

ah, CrazedFerret, Truer words have never been spoken.
Sometimes I go to other clubs and meets goodlooking girls who are just nasty personality wise. I much rather go to clubs where people have the same attitude as me. I find alternative clubs have much better down to earth girls, but thats probally because I like altenative music and already "look the part" in an alternative club.

Hey any "alternative" girls wanna meet, heres my cell number 084xxxxxxx. Just kidding

Erm Club's are a sure way to get 1 night stands, IMO clubs are not a place to pickup some that'll develop into something I find those places full of desperate horny ppl

When I really like a girl. I play it safe. Usually ignoring them especially when their attention seekers. Then unxepectadly, walk upto her and tell her tell her what I want. If I get serious bat (this is wat separates the men from the boys) then I make sure I counter it. Because, chances are later she's gunna want u more for standing up for urself.

I dont care wat they say, even James Bond gets bat. I think u can never say the wrong thing, its just how u say it. And it never always works, all girls are different.
You just got to be confident and know wat u want and keep trying till u get it. Theres tons of fish in the sea

The internet may be safe, but what is stopping you from falling love with some 55 year old nigerian who wears nothing but a trenchcoat and walks around hyde park at night flashing people?

I have a very close friend who had an experience with feelings over the internet. I mean they were pretty much in love, emailing eachother talking on the phone and yeah, it was very serious. So he goes to meet her, and things dont click, theya rent attracted to eachother at all and things were left there.

Now, lesson of the day "internet relationships that work are 1 out of 99999999999999999"

Go to a coffee shop on a saturday morning, speak to someone. Ask to go out with one of your friends if she is having people around that you dont know, chances are people that your friends like = you will like.

I dont know what you do for fun, or what kind of person you are, but the club/pub scene is obviously not you.

I think the best bet for you would be go through your friends, or places that you frequent. They are most likely to turn up results

Despite all of this, I still advise to get on with your life, when someone is around, you will find them, no need to go searching, Dr Livingston did the adventuring a long time ago. Plus, people who are looking as well often turn out to be, as fishfly sad, horny and desperate.

STTTTRRRRIIIIIIKKKKKKEEEEEE......

I have officially dediced that men are a waste of time and honesty is not the best policy...

Right so anyone up to the challenge of becoming the next guy??? Cos right now I am at the point of

Apart from the fact most cringe when they hear what you are studying?


Well I've taken to just speaking to any girl around wits I think I might be attracted to, yes it doesnt always get a good response but most of the time once you've spoken to a girl for more than a few minutes and she realises you havent asked her if she is single/her address/her phone number she warms up to you. as a result I have quite a few female friends now but none I really want to date except the one that turned me down and others that have bf's so they are off limits.



Wel I've already gotten my no.
And honesty isn't the best policy if you are trying to find a relatively short term partner, but can you live with lies? My one problem (of many) in a way is I'm brutally honest most of the time.

i can't believe this shit.

Care to elaborate?

You can meet some one new anywhere.

At work, at the gym, the library - anywhere.

You just have to know what you are looking for in a person and be open to the possibility.

Wasn't aimed at you -- I just think the direction this thread is heading in is ridiculous.

LOL...

Who says?

dawg, the topic is in off-topic --> Mars & Venus. That's what the section is for, i don't think the topic is becoming ridiculous at all.

I agree. I find it interesting how different people approach life and relationships compared to myself.

Aaag he just generally has a problem with me

Unfortunately the brutal truth is that if a woman looks good or is attractive in any way she will have no problem "meeting people"...

With charm like that you must be a killer with the ladies, Phil

Well someone had to say it.......

Why sugar coat things,this whole world is based on appearances.Every day in every woman/men's magazine we have the perfect specimine that we're supposed to aspire to in some way.We supposed to look a certain way,weigh a certain amount and anything that deviates from that is deemed as unattractive.

It's all bulls*it of course,but it happens every damn day.

When I like a girl, one of two personalities, if I can call them that, comes forth.

Usually the one I call the puppy dog comes out first. To sum it up: I make a complete fool of myself.

The other one I call the bastard. He usually comes out when the puppy has been run over by an 18 wheeler. Extremely sharp tongue and very bitter. (I tend to care too quickly.)

Frankly, at the moment, I have had a couple of rejections recently and I'm getting over the whole "Getting a girlfriend" thing. Might spare me some pain, plus that stupid puppy might be put to sleep. After so many rejections you just stop caring, but it might be good because as you guys said, it happens when you least expect, or look for it.

Oh well, if we are gonna say it like it is, here goes...

Here's a hint to any gamers looking for love: Your ability to play CS:Source is inversely proportional to your chances of getting laid. If you spend all your time engaged in conversations like this:



... then chances are your abiltiy to hold a stimulating and sexually charged flirtatious conversation with a girl you've just met is extremely low. If you're spending all your time sabotaging yourself, at least don't whine about it.

I think this goes for anime fans too ... but to a lesser degree. You can't be out macking ladies if you're sitting at home watching disproportionately drawn cartoon girls in school uniforms for hours on end.

Flamesuit engage

And that's the damn truth !!

I think like most things you need practice to become better. Gamers, and otaku (anime fans) tend to get less practice than your normal human.

Guess who's gothis trainers on.

Less practise at what?

"Otaku" ... /me sniggers.

Yip, as an engineering student I feel the same, you can either get the girl and fail engineering (I'm doing electronic engineering as well as BSc computer science and there is no time for relax) and be a nobody for the rest of your life or you can wait and crave all the time and when you're done studying, you can unleash it all and get all the girls you want (and afford them all)
By that time (when you are a successfull engineer) girls will probably be tired of wasting time with nobodies and engineers will be more appealing than a jobless BA student!