i spoke to a girl recently and she said that sex on the first date is like on. i suppose people just differ in this regard.

what do u guys think? is it on or not?

Sex outside mariage is wrong!

Oh no...here comes another huge debate! Basically, it is going to come down to religion again.

My personal belief is that sex out side of marriage is both wrong (on religious grounds) and, in general, a bad idea. I honestly believe that, religion aside, the most satisfying sexual relationship that can be had is within a long term, exclusive relationship - and that the level of satisfaction is relative to the level of security. And obviously, the risks of sex in marriage are much smaller than the risks of sex outside of marriage.

Artag

Here's a thought: she's a slag.

A strongly believe that a relationship should reach a certain level of maturity before sex is introduced. I'm not saying the sex would not be nice on the first date, but it is insane to go that route. The relationship will most probably end right there and then as at least one of the two would be satisfied and feel that they have accomplished their goal - time to move on now...

There is so much more to a relationship than sex. Just imagine what the sex would be like if you are just dying to have this woman, but you decide to wait for a while (preferably until married -although not always possible). For heavens sake you don’t even know where this person has been before, STD’s not too mention AIDS. Okay, you’ll probably say “I can like too use condom” – but how do you think some people get pregnant even with using condoms. There is ALWAYS a chance my man. Religion does have a lot to do with it as well.

It all comes down to one thought: Are you really prepared to live with the consequences of your actions? I myself just could not get past that question.

Pretty much sums it up!

Adieu

imo, if she's willing on the first date, imagine how many other guys she's been with

seriously not right

i think enigma has nailed it, but i would lengthen the time period to a month, if she's a bit too willing to jump into the sack i think i would run away, that type of shit just gives me the hebegebies

personally i dont think sex outside of marriage is wrong but be responsible about it, get tested, use a condom, use the pill too and most importantly ask yourself if she gets preggies would you marry her because she is pregnant or because you love her? if its the former then dont shag if its the latter then trust your conscience as to weather or not the two of you make love.

Shag

Tag

Release


I disagree with this "sex outside of marrage is wrong"
if you only getting married at 30 and u start dating at like 21, you telling me you going to sleep in the same bed, every night for say 8 years, and not shag?

If you answer YES to this questions, please relocate yourself to "www.IMAFUCKINGFAGOT.com/forums"

What is so wrong with a woman who enjoys nookie?
Give the woman what she wants damnit.

ok sex on the 1st date in my opinion wont do.

It will make me think she's a bit loose.

however after a few dates and ie leads to it, I can dig it

however I dont plan on getting married without tasting the goods.

who buys a car these days without a test drive???

Firstly, I don't believe in setting a time-limit on when it should be allowed. I think having sex outside marriage is fine if done responsibly, and if you meet you're soul mate on the first date, and you both feel comfortable having sex, then why not. ("Cos the Bible told me so" ain't gonna convince me guys)

And all this crap about a girl being a slag or loose if she wants to shag on a first date is getting really Victorian really fast. This is 2005. Women have just as active a sexual imagination and desire that men do. Don't punish them for actually have the guts to act on it.



This, while perhaps sounding a bit crass to some of you, is actually a very valid point. You have to have sex with this person for the rest of your life. If the sex is terrible, your relationship will suffer. Basically, if you compare it to something we can all understand, its like signing a life-time ADSL contract with Telkom with no guarantees on shaping or capping. I think its simply too important an aspect of a relationship to leave up to chance.

it wasnt supposed to come across as crass.

However it explains my sentiments exactly.

You'll be surprised at how many women think the same way too.

HAHAHAHA Well said val

anyway the way I see it sex outside marriage is not SIN as they put it in those days... (won't go into the whole bible deal)

but sex on the first date = very loose slag = stay away or use about 30 condoms in a attempt avoid STD so rather use your hand or that blowup thingy lying in your bed at nite

sex after marriage = very big fore arms

Depends on the person and the situation. Usually I avoid the question/problem/issue and wait much further in the relationship? However I do not have time restraints if it’s right it will de done.

Knowing a person well/bette before you engage in teh sex, will not prevent you getting a STI. Will you honestly sleep with someone if you know they have some disease? No!

Sex before and after marriage is still a risk. You never know where the other person have been, or if they are clean or not. Face it.

That doesn't work for me, man. I know this is only for argument's sake, but you can't compare a car to a woman! The one is a simple, material and mostly inanimate object, while the other is supposed to make up the other half of your *life*.
That aside, i believe sex is a skill just like any other. And it can be honed just like any other, too. If you jump into bed a virtual sex god then you either studied your collection of porn way too intently, or you were just plain lucky. Don't tell me that you would honestly give up what could be the love of your life just because she didn't please you enough, like all the others did...


Maybe it's just me, but normally you wouln't start playing house with a girfriend the moment you hook up (assuming you even have the kind of money it takes to do that).
::shrug::
But then again, this is 2005, hey. That simple fact justifies every glaring example of moral decay in modern society.


That's also a valid point. And the way i see it, there seems to be two sides to this:
1.) Build the relationship on trust, and then actually *trust* your partner to tell you the truth about this matter.
or
2.) Both people need to go for check-ups before the marriage/sex/whatever (and risk scaring the other person off because you 'betray' their trust)

Oh, but then again, if people didn't fuck around like little white rabbits, then we wouldn't really be faced with this issue.

Why the hell not?

What's wrong with a little recriational sex now and then? Be it after 4 dates, one date or no dates? As long as everyone involved is adequately protected and concenting adults.

Everyone seems to have this religiously motivated sex = evil philosophy going on. Can anyone give a good reason why sex should be any different from say watching a movie or playing a nice game of putt-putt?

i think u've been watching too much porn.

LMFAO

I was thinking the same thing jow.

So a game of putt putt ?

or put put ?

There 's no such thing!!

that's my gripe
if a girl has sex on the first date then she probably has had a few miles already
so beware all you test drivers, the car's clutch is probably already slipping
and the smell is gone too.

LMFAO

Brilliant!!!!!! That is so clever!!!!

Histerical laughter aside, he does make an exelent point.

do it! do it! do it!

So what?

Who was it that decided that the quality of a woman decreases with her experience?? (or a man for that matter..)

She's been around the block a few times? Good for her! She'll no doubt make a more enthusiastic partner as a result.

Also, I'm not sure girls even have clutches!!

While I'm on the subject, let me mention prostitues.....

There is no fundemental difference between enjoying the talents of a skilled musician and enjoying the talents of a skilled prostitute! Is the musician somehow demeamed by getting paid for her work? Does a performing musician make men abusive? Does he/she somehow degrade "family values"?

What absolute bullshit! Just because the organ being pleasured is not attached to your head people get all uppity! WTF?

I could understand the benefits of this if we where living in caves and didn't know about contriceptives, But we don't and we do . This social adversion to sex is illogical and outdated and has no place in a modern society.

PS. No disrespect to Musicians intended
PPS. Why should I have to say that!!!? What makes a prostitute any less nobel than any other professional?
PPPS. Why do people always bring up "family Values" when sex is mentioned? I don't really see the connection. I have a very large family and have never had sex with any of them!

Well I don't see any girls growing up wanting to be prostitutes... Sex is intimate contact between 2 people, more and it gets funny, if you get paid for it, it's a job. I'm sure no husband would be impressed to have a prostitute for a wife, unless he's seriously 'ucked in the head.

I probably won't mind if 'the girl has had a few miles', it won't make her any worse, but it increases the risks involved. Heck I'm the last one to speak, I've only ever been with one girl, and I'm still with her...

I'm not against sex before marriage by any means, for me its all about what you feel and if you can live with your decision and conscience afterwards. Although I am definitely against sex on the first date, that is totally brought on by lust, imho sex should come from loving someone not wanting to get your rocks off because you ran out of vaseline. :-/

I hate to play docter evil but, sometimes you want to "get your rocks off" with a chic, is it so hard to believe that she just might want to do the same thing?

Not everybody is into serious relationship at some point in there live's I guess you will just have to play it by ear.

All symptoms of society's negative attitute towards sex, rather than some inherant evil of sex itself.
Why shouldn't a girl want to be a prostitute? Why must men guard their wives so jealously?
If he has a prostitute for a wife you can be sure he is "seriously 'ucked in the bed"
*chortle* *chortle*
God, I crack myself up some times....

what guys who have sex on the first date?

personally i'm a male slut, but I would like to know what you people think of guys who have sex on first date, because i see a hell of a lot of trashing woman here, what about the guys who sleep with these chicks (besides me, i know what I am, but other guys)

how would u feel if your mother was spreading her legs for every horny man with money, and if she told u that your father was a customer? if that's not an example of degrading family values, then i dont know what is.


do some research into why girls go into prostitution in the first place (especially in south america and south east asia) and then u will see how pathetic your comments are.


i hope your girlfriend/wife never cheats on you. otherwise u will understand that what u are feeling is not jealously, but the loss of loyalty and true love between two people.

once again: stop watching porn. it has blurred your understanding of what 'real' prostitution is like in the world.

I'm sorry, but I thought sex was supposed to be something special. A physical way of showing how much you love someone.

This whole debate, or the way you see it, is ruled by how you see sex and what it means to you. If sex is just something you do, then safety is the only concern.

If sex is more, something sacred, then it is a problem. Personally I'd like to wait till I'm married.

It all comes down to the consequences. If you look at it deeply, and most people will not agree, sex before marriage is harmfull, physically with STDs and emotionally, later in life in relationships and marriage.

k I added a poll to the thread so go and vote...

hshsh

so a woman who jumps into bed on the first date is a slag but nothing gets said about the man?

Society has a lot of growing up to do.

I can't really vote on this as I'm leaning more towards a "maybe" or a "depends" for this type of situation

Situations are never as clear cut as some people would like to believe and sure there are sometimes certain extenuating factors that should be considered before deciding whether someone is a well ridden whore or an accomplished stud. More than likely alcohol would be involved, but at times it could just be that both parties have an extreme attraction towards each other. Its human nature guys, we are designed to procreate as much as possible, if that wasn't the case men would be like male bees and die after having sex.

At the end of the day, its a personal choice and whether you feel its wrong or right really doesn't matter. Believe me, maybe one day you will find someone so insanely attractive that the first date will be the consumating of a very long and deeply loving relationship.

In short, just cos you fuck on the first date doesn't mean it has to be the last date

a man who does the same is also a slag. are u happy now?

wise words. *sarcasm*

and we are also designed with a big brain to make intelligent decisions, unlike our fellow animals and insects.

instead the men (and the women) die from aids, std's, suffer emmotionally and have children who grow up never having a proper family.

the very fact that women get called whores, slags or whatever shows that large scale 'procreation' is detrimental to the image of and respect shown towards women. is such loss of a person's dignity not reason enough to avoid such 'procreation', whether the person be a man or a woman?

If prostitution was a socially acceptable, if other mothers and fathers where doiing it, I really don't think I'd be concered.
The entire purpouse of family values is to produce happy and productive members of society for the next generation, and that purpous isn't advanced by parents hiding their sexuality.

I suppose we coulds say that family values are there to protect kiddiez from the evils of "elicit pleasures", indoctrinate them into the current religion de jour and save them from eternal damnation, but if that is the case, we should whole heartledly support anything that degrades them.


As long as prositution is a tabooed profession, of course girls are going to get into it for the wrong reasons. The solution isn't to ban it but rather accept it completely (arguabley this isn't feasable, but bear with me). If a prostitute needs to go though a manditory training period, internship and professional accrediation before she can practice,a girl being forced into prostitution would be no more common than a girl being forced into being an accountant.


Let's not confuse "true love" and sex now. Having sex outside a commited, loving relationship dosn't have to be a betrayal and a lot of people would be much happier if it was generally considered to be acceptable. Just think of all the happy marrages that are broken up simpley because one party went and had sex with the secritary.

yes, if this and if that. please stick to our world, not your fantasy one.

how do u come up with such bullshit? with values like that u may have better luck breeding animals in a zoo.

MjrMua, STFU and go buy yourself a prostitute.

Imagening what would make our world better is the first step to improving it.


If you don't like my suggested purpose(and therefor method for evaluating) family values. Please suggest a better one.

I personally think that contributing to the continued survival of our society is a pretty nobel goal


I would but I'm broke :'(
...also its illegal...

omg I feel so enlightened being educated about sex and it's taboo's by a 22 year old who probably has been had a shag in his life.

Sex on the first is a choice no one can make for you or even say it is wrong or good (Unless you talk personal opinion). Like said before it is hard to say something about it because the situtation isn't really clear in some cases. If someone would offer me sex on the first date I might go say yes but in the back of my head I will think, so she does this to me so how many were before me. I don't have a problem with the fact someone enjoys their sexlife while they are still young but for your own sake, please wear protection if you wanna go wild. Sure the chance of STD's or whatever is still there but at least you are trying to limit ur odds. Some people get guided by lust others by love. No choice is wrong if no one is forced into it. Embrace ur sexuality but do it with some thinking at least.

On the prostitution side, I do believe they should make it legal. String some laws to it, get taxes out of it. Some people just are not made for relationships but they do wanna have sex. So why not just legalise it already. Educate the people and have it under control. Now who would volunteer to be a hooker though...but anyway.

rofl thats pretty ironic coming from a 12yr old vietnameese eunich living alone in a cave in the Drakensburg.

But seiously, let's not let this degenerate into fight club, if you disagree with the ideas attach *them* rather than the person who bought them up.

MjrMua

watch yourself please.

Ace's comment wasnt derogatory in the same way you just got now, as well I would agree with him that youor sentiments are that of someone who is incredibly immature.
although I am thinking that Jow may be right in thinking that you watch too much porn.

However , everything from your ideas to your spelling to your misuse of words says that you are young.

This is a discussion board and if its going to turn into a fight I'm going to move this to the fight club.

I was actually refering to Jow but if the shoe fits *shrug*

There is already a thread in Fight Club that has dealt with pre-marital sex, if you want to start this up again, go there.

For me, sex on the first date is a definate no, but whats wrong with the 3rd or fourth? I agree with Dave and Rush on this one.

Good point. Enjoying yourself can not be stopped, but please think of the children. As cliché as it sounds, these children do not ask to be thrown into this world and then suffer these lives of torment. Comming from a broken home, I know what I'm talking about and I'm not alone.

On a lighter note, here is a little tidbit of info. (Note: My sources can be wrong.) Apparently in Holland, I think, prostitution is legal and they get tested, by the government, every now and then for STDs. When they are found positive, they are taken out of circulation. This helps prevent people from catching things from them. In our case there is no regulation. (Note: I think prostitution is wrong.)

I'm not trying to degrade aCe, my apologies if anyone took it that way. I was attempting to demonstrate how rediculous it is to make irrelevent assumptions about eachother's real-world situations.


well I was kind of hoping someone wouild argue against them but maybe I expected too much.


Sure, but the point I have been trying to make is that my age (or Jow's) is not the topic being discussed, If you would like to have a thread devoted to guessing our age, by all means make one.


I think this discussion is dying out anyway

if she aint denying, I'z been supplying!