Dear Help Desk

I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialisation where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5 and Footie 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Rugby 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favourite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but uninstall doesn't work on this program.

Can you please help.
Joe

Dear Joe,

This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors Fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C:\I-APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use the 'Esc' key. It may be necessary to run C:\I-APOLOGISE a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal.

Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0.

Do not under any circumstances install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash.

Best of luck
Tech Support

ROFL, really funny. should be used as a metaphor for freaks to explain how women work!

funny cause it's true

If only life was as simple as deleting all our mistakes and mishaps.
Keep it up, it will get better! :king:

Blom, let me put this lightly

WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!

lol, misunderstanding

cool find

Good thing I cam across this. Perhaps I will stick to the Girlfriend program and update it from time to time. You think there is a Engagement 1.1, that does not require the upgrade to Wife 1.0? I reckon this would be the best of both worlds.

The problem is the activation required from the girlfriend program after about 7 years of usage. It seems that the program is designed to want to upgrade itself. You need a lot of patches to keep it running as the original program. Otherwise, I'm afraid, the program will stop responding until you upgrade it to engaged1.0 and then wife1.0

so basically you are saying that there is no hope for us once we have upgraded to Girlfriend 7.0?

sad but true.

I have heard of a few people who have a cracked version that exists happily as a varient of the original girlfriend program. Those are few and far between.

I've got an original girlfriend 6.0. I worry about the next years upgrade

you might wanna watch out for WORS.32... sneaky trojan that.

I just upgraded from Great Friend 9.0 to Girlfriend 1.0. I think I have a long way to go, but maybe, just maybe I will be one of the lucky ones to have found a cracked version...

haha... great find dom!



don't go from girlfriend 1.0 to wife 1.0!! may as well install life sentence 9.8!

erm yar, considering i'm getting married in like 6 weeks this is a little off putting

congrats! and good luck man!

Nice Find Domnus



Why should it be? You have a great tech resource team right here at NetForums to help you deal with any software issues you might have

Congratulations and best wishes for your marriage

Ta for the wishes ppl

Maybe there is a serial crack aswel?

If you find that, please let me know

yeah... think there's one called Horny Ex 9.8 around somewhere...

I'm still trying to get that Husband 1.0 to work. Damn thing is full of clicks. I've even so much as installed Hot Sex 8.0 but that didn't seem to get it moving. Took Divorce 1.5 to finally clean the freakin thing out. Since then, I've been enjoying the Vida Loca 1.0 and haven't had one problem. In fact, the entire operating system is running perfectually.

It is called Viagra 7.3. You were obviously using an outdated Husband, if it couldn't prefrom in bed...

i'm quite happy to run One-Night-Stand 6.2 every so often... no bugs, no crap... works for me!... gotta watch for viruses tho...

Not only have you lot killed the joke, but you have flogged its decaying corpse till there is nothing left but a mangled skeleton. If another continuation of the joke is posted then this thread will turn to necrophilia.

Hey, don't shoot the messenger.

EDIT: Shitty spelling

ROFLMAO!! OMG! I think you're right. Good thing I now have South African 7.0

Simon, that last bit was for you. LOL. *leaves tons of horney American sex kittens who go ga-ga over a guy with an accent* And you though what happened to that guy in Love Actually doesn't happen. Come to the States, go to the nearest dance club, and you'll have more lays than a Asian tourist vacationing in Hawaii.

/me buys a plane ticket to the States

yes, its time

ROFLMAO!!!! Simon, that is classic.

THERE SHE BLOWS!!!!!

No, I don't mean what you're thinking.

My mind was kinda empty when I posted that

Anyhoo, enough off topic nonsense, continue with the corpse-rape

I don't think I like your smary demeanour Mr Simon. So what if these people want to make jokes about software?

Killjoy

I am dual booting wife 1.0 and girlfriend (version unknown). DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. Both programs keep on crashing and neither one seems to want to run in the background. System resources are being taxed to the limits.

lol. be careful that girlfirend (version unknown) does not turn in to Stalker 1.3. Not good at all...