1. THE LIE
We are just friends

THE TRUTH
Try as I might, this person just won't get into bed with me - yet

2. THE LIE
I worry about your health

THE TRUTH
If you think I am going to push you around in a wheelchair when you've got emphysema, you've got another thing coming

3. THE LIE
I have never faked an orgasm

THE TRUTH
If you believe that, you'll believe anything

4. THE LIE
I like you as a friend

THE TRUTH
One step closer and I'll punch you on the nose

5. THE LIE
I want you to be successful

THE TRUTH
Can you seriously see me living as a pauper until my inheritance comes through?

6. THE LIE
Of course you aren't fat

THE TRUTH
Pick up two more kilo's and I'll hit the road

7. THE LIE
I'm not ready for a relationship

THE TRUTH
Not with you anyway, not now or ever

8. THE LIE
I have only had sex with one other person

THE TRUTH
I am not counting colleagues or one-night-stands

9. THE LIE
What's mine is yours

THE TRUTH
Touch my hi-fi or video recorder and you're dead. What's more, you don't even know about my shares

10. THE LIE
I'll love you forever

THE TRUTH
You are actually the third person I say this to, but you know how these things go

11. THE LIE
I have to go out of town on business

THE TRUTH
Yes, but I am not telling you that the tall, dark and handsome guy from Accounts is going too.

12. THE LIE
I can't make it tonight - I have family commitments

THE TRUTH
An old girlfriend/boyfriend is in town and I am having dinner at the hotel

13. THE LIE
I need space

THE TRUTH
I have met someone else and strangely enough I don't need space when they are around

14. THE LIE
I love you when you wash the dishes

THE TRUTH
This one is true - I will also tell you how much I love you when you fetch the kids, even though it is my turn.

15. THE LIE
Of course I care about your parents

THE TRUTH
If I never have to see them again, it will be too soon

16. THE LIE
I'm not good enough for you - you deserve someone better

THE TRUTH
Actually I deserve someone better, now will you stop nagging

17. THE LIE
It's not a problem at all, I understand

THE TRUTH
If you ever make me wait half an hour in the boiling sun for you again, I'll give you up for medical experiments

18. THE LIE
That outfit looks lovely

THE TRUTH
You look like Goofy, but we are already half an hour late

19. THE LIE
Of course I want to go shopping with you

THE TRUTH
Frankly I would prefer root canal treatment

20. THE LIE
I'm working late, but remember I'm doing it for us

THE TRUTH
I was the first one to manage to get a date with the new marketing manager

21. THE LIE
I'm not going to ask you again to pick up your underwear from the bathroom floor

THE TRUTH
I'll probably have to ask you another twelve thousand times

22. THE LIE
My cellphone was switched off last night, because I went to bed early

THE TRUTH
That part is true, but I was not alone

23. THE LIE
Of course he/she is not as attractive as you are

THE TRUTH
I can feel my nose growing longer

24. THE LIE
I love you just the way you are

THE TRUTH
Nothing 500 sessions with a shrink and a complete makeover couldn't solve.

25. THE LIE
Sorry I didn't wait up for you

THE TRUTH
I sat in the dark in the sitting room and quickly ran to bed when I heard you car stopping

hahaha that is so so true