Okay, I keep hearing about how women are demanding this and that from men. My experience has been quite different, until I met a certain South African . I'm curious though, what are you men wanting in your woman? Here's a few examples:

Leaves you alone and gives you space when you're angry and don't wanna 'talk about it.'

Always says yes to sex.

Goes down on your at a movie theater (long story, don't ask).

Appreciates you, and expresses it often.

Trusts you whole-heartedly.

Doesn't complain when you go out with the guys.

Is into cars and sports.

Enjoys long intellectual interludes.

Is reticent.

Etc, etc.


You get the gist, I think. Now, what about things you DON'T want in your woman?

A nag.

A manipulator.

A moocher (emotional and financial).

An air head.

Is patronizing.

Needy.

Is too insatiable.

High maintenance (requires constant flower purchases, expensive dinner dates, etc.).

Smothering (goes through your wallet without your permission).

Etc, etc.



Thoughts? I'm curious what you gents will say.

Hehe, this will be fun!

I want a Porsche

Seriously though, I reckon going into a relationship with all these "demands" will just end up making therelationship short and unpleaseant.

Find someone who interests you, who can have a conversation with you and who you find attractive in some way and take it from there. Hey you might think you have the perfect Gf/Bf whatever, but wait until you move in with them and live together, that is the ture test

So i'm good then. She annoys me I just kick her to the couch

dont you mean the kitchen

seriously though, there are few things more attractive, to me anyway, tahn someone who is down to earth,genuine and who can hold a mildy intellectual conversation

I agree with enigma, although surprise beer gifts is always welcome , also she should share some of your interests, otherwise you tend to pull apart fairly quickly in my experience

These are IMO what guys want from a girl...

- Must get on with your friends, but not to well
- She must be independant and have a passion for her job
- MUST have a sense of humour i.e. laugh at herself when embarresed
- NO VICTIMS!
- She must respect my time with the boyz as I do her time with the girls



True. Since my babe moved in with me, things have been bliss. Lucky I guess

True, true. *nodds head*

My girl should have a good intellect. There is nothing worse than talking alot and in actual fact the conversation is alot of gibirish.


For me, this is usually where the sh!t hits the fan. I buy flowers, take her out to dinner, be intemit, send a SMS or phone her, but never, in any of my relationships have I recieved a SMS or a phone call or anything, saying that I'm appreciated or she likes me or I'm sexy or she likes being with me or she likes holding my hand when we go to a Mall. I tell her I like her, I want to see her again, she has a beautiful personality - in my opinion all things that girls love to hear.
- Maybe I overwhelm them? Maybe I'm moving to fast?

For fcuk sakes, if you like me, tell me. It probably has to do with some kind of ego boost, but I like it when someone likes me or finds me attractive. At the end of the day I feel like the relationship is a one sided afair. I give all the compliments, the money, the love but rarely anything giving me a signal that I am special as well.



That would be great, but then you would have a mindless girl that does everything you say and she dont have her own opinion » how boring!!!

All in all, a relationship is a very tricky thing to master, but once you have, it's very fullfilling.{spelling}

ah YANA, I have no idea is this was personally inspired for a certain someone *cough cough*

But you have hit the nail on the head haven't you? Because I would hazard a guess, that nine times out of ten, guys dont know what they want, and if they say they do, they only think they do and it wont last because they cant read themselves well enough to know.

For myself: These are a list of things that stimulate me...not neccessarily what I want in a woman, but you get the thrust of it.

(in no particular order)

I want to intellectually challenged. That means not a scientist or physicist or something. It means someone with a brain who can meet me halfway in deep conversations about humanity, purpose, religion, socielogy, psychology, politics, nature, medicine etc. My range of knowledge is quite broad and I pride myself in having at least a passing knowledge on most subjects and I want to be matched. I have met quite a few women in my life that could match me, and within 1 converstation with them, I would go to the ends of the earth for them because they have become best of friends.

Low maintenance I am very romantic, so I like, enjoy giving chocolates, flowers, romantic dinners, walks and special treats etc etc. I enjoy doing that and I would love someone who could love that I did that and enjoy it as much if not more than I did, but did not expect it. If I dont do it for a while, for whatever reason (I shouldn't have to explain myself) then she should not get offended and think im sleeping with someone else.

Child of Jesus I say this instead of Religious because I dont give a twizzle if she goes to church or not, but if and when I have kids, I want them to grow up as children of Jesus. Of course this is more difficult if she is a confirmed athiest. It's still possible, but unfortunately for some, in a life partner this is non-negotiable. Just plain relationships, yeah then there is room for movement.

Family Person I used to hate my family, I grew up, got over myself, now they mean the world to me. I dotn care if she doesn't like her family, that's her issue, but I dont want to hear about her not wanting to spend time with mine (Since my family will want to spend time with her) and I dont want to hear stuff about 'let's just leave the family and go do stuff alone). Blood runs thicker than water and at least in the beginning, if its between the family and her, she's gonna get the boot. My family have always been there for me with unconditional love, and it will be returned, no matter how good the sex is.

Humour I'm a funny guy. I know this. 90% of what people tell me is lol. I used to have a motto that people used to tell me day in an day out. 'you're a funny guy, makes up for your bad looks'. I dont mind entertaining people, I enjoy people laughing, but in a relationship, I would like to laugh a little too, have someone who was funny in their own right. Not being blessed with stunning features I've learnt to appreciate my humour and appreciate this above almost all else in a girl. 5 STARS to the girl who can make a naughty, sexual based joke in an innapropriate place and keep a straight face until the first person cracks up. Pet love, but there you go. Used to know a girl in Council who could do that, and she was hysterical. I was hugely attracted to her for that matter simply.

Honesty It's not something im always good at since i try to avoid confrontation and make everyone else happy at my own expense, but in a perfect situation where I've worked through my issues, if im pissing a girl off, i want her to tell me. If im doing something she doesn't like, then she must tell me. If, somewhere faaar down the line, we live together and i make moves, and she doesn't want to, she musn't say i have a headache, she should say not now dear, please, some other time. No heartache, no guilt, no bullshit, just tell it like it is. Dr Phil Style

Red heads This is more personality based than looks believe it or not, but as I said in another thread, we base our opinions on experience and every single red head I have ever met has had a vivacious, attractive, go get em, bubbly, upbeat, positive and ultimately making me swoon like a teenager personality. I am putty in the hands of the confident red head. Sad...but true.

Punctuality We WILL be on time if we are a couple. We WILL prepare early if we have a long journey. You WILL be ready to leave at the prescribed time or you WILL be left behind or go alone. This is it, there is no middle ground, there is no room for discussion, there is nothing but meeting that deadline. If I ever find a woman that would rather be 3 hours early to an event or prescribed timing rather than 5 minutes late, then I'm halfway there. This is probably the only uncompromising preference I have. I WILL NOT be late for you, for me, for the Pope or anybody on this earth. If I say to someone I will be at a certain place at a certain time, then I will be there. If we have an accident on the wya or we leave somethign behind, NO PROBLEM. At least we left on time, there was the correct intent. If we arrive late from traffic, that's ok too, as long as we leave at the time we decided. I will NOT stand and wait for her while she does...whatever. They want to look nice for me! YAY-start doing it earlier. In the same way, I wont keep her waiting, I dont expect her to keep me waiting. Spontenaity is all very fine and well, but me being reflected upon as rude, I wont accept. I will not tolerate people expecting me to be late because we always are. I want to be the first to the party as it were.

Things I dont want:

Depressives I know I tend to attract damaged people to myself, becuase i bear their burdens, but this too is going out the window. If you approach me with a problem, and you have a solution or want to discuss solutions, then you are a winner. positive attitude, great. if you just want to moan and bitch and have the world fix you, bugger off i dont have the time or the emotional strength to fix my life and yours.

Obcessive Compuslives If you need to be absolutely meticulously clean and all whack and stuff, please, find someone else with those problems, I wont even be your friend. I jsut cant do it. Monica in Friends? I would leave the building....or kill her.

Perfectionists There are few things I hate as much in this world as a perfectionist. I dont care if you want your entire life to be absolutely perfect, go right ahead. But if you even make a move near my life with your standards I will own you faster than you know what hit you. I'm not perfect, I dont have the energy for perfectionism...too bad if you do.

Skeletons I dont mind if you are overweight or supermodel. I do mind if you are unhealthily overweight, and you know the kinds im talking about. Extremes of course, but stating my case. In the same vein - Calista Flockhart....bad bad bad. Dont want extremes, a normal girl with a norma body will suit me fine. You have stretch marks? So do I, what's the big deal? I can think of few things that would freak out as much as running my hands up her body and feel like my hand is dune bashing over her ribs.

Agree for the sake of agreeing I do this ALL THE TIME and i hate it in myself. I do it because I dont want to make peope feel bad, but recently I've learned, what's worse, disagreeing or giving them false hope with agreement? I dotn want a chick that tells me im right when im not. If my actions are not right, I want to know so I can fix em.

Disagreeing for the sake of it Same thing but backwards. I dont want to argue every step of the way,just let it be.

That's about most of what I can think of right now. As I said though, most guys I dont think know what they want, and its sad, but its also true. Till you experience it, how can you know? Im sure there is a way although I dont know know it. These things are not based on experience, they are just what I 'think' I would find attractive in a woman.

Wow gents! This is amazing. Thank you all for responding with some good thoughts.

Now, in response to some of what you said, here is mine.




This is one of those issues that I encountered. It was taken for granted that I handled all of the finances, all of the responsibility to maintain the household (clean, fix things in the house, cooked dinner, etc.), as though these were all obligations I was expected because I was the one with the most practical intelligence in the relationship. Although its true that I can manage these things well, I HATED IT! Did I get any help? Try zilch! I got, "I'm couldn't get to the dishes because I just wasn't up to it today." This was a daily thing, where I would work all day (sometimes until 3:00 a.m.), and he stayed home and did nothing but watch TV. In fact, I got to a point where I just couldn't keep up and started buying disposible plates and stuff, cuz I literally couldn't move after working at the office (its the nature of what I do. We sometimes get in lots of proposals to turn into municipalities and agencies, and in order to get them in by the deadline I have to work late). Needless to say, after over five years with the first and seven with the second (yeah, I saw the pattern too and hence the life changes that resulted in who I am now), I became resentful and bitter, even detached. Appreciation granted to me was the opportunity to give him head as a reward. Yeah, it was that bad. Meh. BUT, not anymore!!! I'm happy chick now with a fox to take care of ME!




Ooh, does that mean its okay for me to send my guy to the dog house when he annoys me? Nah! I'd rather just shake my booty at him and remind him he's not getting any that night.





Hey! I don't think of myself as mindless. Maybe a little distracted, but NOT mindless. (I'll let you consider the implication ).




Well, yes and no. hehe. I'm glad you found this and posted all that you did. I can see you are working towards the right direction.

You're absolutely right about men not knowing what they want. That goes back to what I told you. Introspection takes an enormous amount of effort. In order to determine what a person wants in a partner requires that kind of energy and self analysis, because we only attract who we are and what we value most in life. One thing to note though is that a lot of women don't know what they want either, and worse yet, expect men to find it for them, and serve it to them on a silver platter. Talk about LAZY!

I'm impressed at your list Alex. The only thing I would suggest is taking this, printing it, and putting it into your wallet. Look at it occasionally, make whatever modifications you want to it as you think of more, and then when you meet women, look at the list to remind you what you want. Sometimes when engaging in a relationship we rationalize things in our minds and forget why we wanted particular traits. This is where that list helps, to bring back to focus what really matters to you.


Thanks again everyone.

You know what, Ninja-kun? Now that i have read your list of demands, i now understand why our relationship was doomed in the first place. I mean:
I am incapable of challenging you intellectually
I have never even met your family
I don't have a sense of humour
I'm only honest when it suits me
And i am not a red-head

::sobs::

What do guys want ?

Well how about some common sense from the ladies,it seems common sense aint that common anymore......

Now u tell me.... N.Mo...

ah but my dear Anime, you are already taken, more's the pity

and Yakman, sad but true. We cna never be together *sniffle*

Hi guys /gals ... been a real long time since i been here.

Here goes:

Confidence : non-negotiable. Im no-ones crutch. Dont lean on me. ill be there if u need me , but dont abuse that fact/privelage. Hand in hand with this goes moaning about how you look, that your fat , that your this/that. Except the fact that i am with you because i want to be with you , not because you used voodoo magic and the spell gets broken by growing buttocks. If i find something about you i do not like ... i will tell you. I expect the same.

Double standards : dont expect me to do something if you dont , or arent prepared to. Eg. dont tel me not to smoke/drink whatever , but you do. (then have some excuse that guys cant handle it but girls can).

Honesty : lie to me ... and expect me to be a howling demon. I hate nothing more in any relationship (including friendship). Rather screw up and move along than lie to me. Heres a thought ... try telling me the truth ...

When we end up having a fight (which you started) do not expect to end it by bursting into tears. Emotional black mail is illegal. Dont use it. (and mostly makes the situation worse).If i initiated the fight and you prove to me that my view was wrong ... i will be the first to admit and apologise. I expect the same.

Well ... i guess thats my first flurry of input.

Might seem cynical ... i assure you it is not meant like that.

Damn, some good reading here.

Ninja-Mo: Mostly I agree with what you have listed there, cept for a few things.

Red-Heads: Na, means nothing too me, personally hair colour has no effect on me. But a nice brown hair with hazel eyes is good (or blue eyes, but not all blue, those enchantingly beautiful sea blue eyes, hmmmmmmmm)

Depressives: Seriously piss me off, they bitch and moan to get attention

Punctuality: Okay I HATE being late for things, but Im fairly flexible with times, And I don't always have to be 100% prepared for things, sometimes its nice just to do something random.

Religious: Yup I would be much happier if she was christian, make life easier when bringing up kids.

Humor: Not a requirement, but must be able to laugh with her, she must not take life too seriously, we only here for a short time, we must enjoy it (Withing certain boundries).

Not Clingy: I can't stand clingy things, like little dogs, they just piss me off.

Figure: Normal, and woman most of you are normal, you are not fat, overweight and so on. Ye and someone who isn't obssesed about looks, less makeup is better (some is good but don't layer it on)

Personality: Well its hard to really say, I don't have a 100% definition for what I look for, but rather guidelines

DOESN'T SMOKE: sorry but I can't stand smoking, i hate it with a passion. Drinking is okay, no problem with it as long as she is not plastered every night.

But anyway the hunt for the perfect woman continues......

Equality OR chivalry. Choose.

Some misconceptions I'd maybe like explained/dispelled if you guys can:

Things they like to tell girls to catch boys include:

1) Be mysterious

Okay. That one's got me stumped. Someone just tell me what it means.

2) Dress in black

Although I like to myself, I still really don't see what difference it makes. I mean...huh?

3) Act like a lady

Self-proclaimed tomboy so i don't much care to try that one on.

4) Play hard to get

Personally I don't think this applies to all guys but occasionally (like when you're really not interested ) it seems to catch their attention...

Just some random thoughts, maybe I'll come up with some more later. Please smash them to pieces so I can show my mommy.

(Side note: post 100! yay! Only took 8 months...

Be Mysterious:

I think this is guy's latent need for conquest. if you are an open book, they feel like they have already won by getting to know you and they move on. Also a mysterious women gives nothing of herself and only listens, making the whole thing about the man. ego driven, and its bullshit from where i come from. but that's me

Dress in black: hell, dress in polka dots if you like. I do like black, but you're wearing it not me. From general guys, I dunno, maybe black makes them think of leather and darkness and naughtiness, I dunno, ask Freud

Act like a Lady: I dont want someone to act, I want a lady. Tomboys are fine, and I like girls that are down to earth and outgoing and do some guyish stuff, but a lady means the same as a guy being a gentleman. I will call a guy a fucking bastard in a joking way, I wont to a lady. I dont think women that swear like sailors are attractive, i think it shows poor communication skills. Being ladylike doesn't mean be elizabethan, it just means dont do stuff most people would be ashamed of (generalization of course but im sure you all know what i mean)

Play Hard to Get: more conquest stuff here. I dont get it. The girl I find most attractive is the one I have a chance with, maybe im jsut desperate. Who knows, but hard to get is dumb

1)
Bha, when people try be mysterious it often seems as they have something to hide, or are ashamed of something. I think it means, be secretive, be vauge about you, don't tell em everything. Personally I don't see the point.

2)
Who cares, as long as don't look like a skank Im happy (skirts so short they could choke you and well you know what I mean). Its just distasteful. I don't like people that try and get attention like that, it attracts the wrong type of people, then woman complain about men......

3)
Ye, swearing like a trouper isn't nice to hear, but prim and proper is a pain in the ass. Ladylike - just be relaxed, enjoy life, don't get hung up on what people think about how people should be (meaning brand names, dress codes). I don't think getting slaughted looks good for a woman, nor does swearing, Hmm okay this could get sticky but hopefully you catch my drift

4)
Such a pain in the ass. Do woman really enjoy making men sweat and not know what the hell is going on? Hmm Playing hard to get I wold say goes on the theme of, you want what you can't have (hence why men want sex all the time - I could get into trouble for this, sorry guys ), but why make tease, it just nasty.

'cos teasing can be a lot of fun

and i've heard a perfect definition of a lady or a gentleman: one that makes sure that the people around them r comfortable and cared for(or something like that ).

Woman can be so nasty at times

Hmm, no I would say that. It would mean that one person would say they perfect the next that they terrible, I suppose its all personal taste

Girls that try to act mysterious often look retarded. Black makes you look thinner. Act like you're going to act a year down the line. If a girl plays hard to get I give up and go for her friend.

Seriously, girls, stop denying that you're interested. Stop pretending that you don't like sex as much as we do.

Personally, I never approach girls because too many of them enjoy rejecting guys just for fun. I NEVER go back on someone who's rejected me once.

If you're out and you make eye contact with someone you're attracted to and at the end of the evening sit in the car and go "yeah he was nice, but he never came over so it's his loss." It's your's too, ape. Why couldn't you make a move ? That guy has probably approached girls and been rejected and now doesn't have the confidence to go through that again. And seriously, why couldn't you make a move yourself ?

Sabretooth, very good observation. I myself am generally the one that approaches guys (believe me, I've had my share). This is due to the fact that up until recently, I've been overweight. Now that I've lost the weight, I'm starting to get the attention. Although I'm not with my ex anymore, I've had to start wearing my wedding ring in order to keep guys from approaching me. Its not that I dislike the attention, but that I'm already taken by another guy, and I HATE having to say "no" to a guy. I know what its like to hear "no." It isn't fun. Can't blame a guy for not trying after a while. I myself always disliked the notion that guys are the pursuers and women are the pursued. Talk about stupid. As far as the two choices you gave, I'd choose neither. I want objectivity.

So can men, Methias. I've heard the "you've got a nice face, but you're body is ugly as hell." Now, don't you think that is cruel? I've even had guys go into specific detail as to what is wrong with my body. Never mind that they themselves were too skinny, or had a beer gut that provided constant shade for their feet. I'm curious what makes you say that? When I was a little girl, I was very quiet. I learned to be loud and in your face after surviving four boys (3 cousins and my older brother). Being the only girl, it was quite a struggle trying to avoid their antics (shove snails down my shirt, spitting on my clothes before I put them on, throwing me into the deepest end of the pool when I didn't know how to swim, etc.). so, when I hear about which sex is cruel, my answer nine times out of ten is: men are.

Alex, I think you've got the right attitude. I agree with you 100%.

Rix, you funny man! What kind of teasing? Strip teasing or just staying far enough that you'll never catch her? Me? I prefer the strip teasing. Its a hell of a lot of fun. Plus, its a sure way for me to get some. hehe, and some, and some...

Phoenix, very excellent observations. I'm with you sister! It goes back to the whole issue of contradictions.

BTW, men, I have yet to hear an adaquate answer on the following dilemma:

Woman is insatiable. She wants you every night, or at least four times a week. You're busy with work, school, life in general. You've got friends that also occupy your time, etc. Do you, or do you not really want an insatiable woman? Think about it. She wants you constantly. Sex is on her mind as much as it is on yours, except, she really wants it all of the time. How do you deal with someone like that?

Woman is insatiable:
You pinch your self and make sure your not dreaming? .

Seriously, that would get a bit much after a while, in the beginning, hell life would be great. I dunno if I would like that to carry on and on and on when you got lots of work, friends to see, and other things to do (And am I correct in that you comparing this 'woman' to men in general with wanting sex all the time?)

Woman can be as cruel as men. But ye in general men find great satisfaction in making other people feel bad, or playing cruel jokes on them. But when somebody plays hard to get and teases you like that - its just cruel (but I suppose fun for the woman - as is playing jokes - snails down the shirts is fun for guys - when they young and immature. When they get older the smarter ones realise that woman should be treated nicely and change, the dumbasses well they never learn) why , well its not always that easy to walk up to a really nice woman that you fancy and not worry about how much you gonna bugger everything up.... but thats another topic

Weeell. Thanks for the replies guys.

Interesting were the views on the definition of 'a lady.' Sure i agree there with Ninja and Methias 100%. But that's the kind of behaviour I find...let's say 'distasteful' - in all ppl, not just women or potential partners.

(Of course I would be lying if I said i never swear )

What I meant was the type of 'lady' who engages in behaviour commonly seen as being feminine - soft-spoken, modest lotus blossom to be seen and not heard as far as possible.

But I think I like rix's version:



Anyway, I do think men and women can both be terribly cruel. As for who is worse? A toss up, I think.

i just like teasing overall
but it just works better in a relationship 'cos some ppl that u don't know long enough can take it as rejection or meanness ...
like u said in a relationship it can only lead to more fun

I dont want an insatiable lady. Get away from me. seriously. Im terrified of sex as it is, and now she wants me all the time. To be honest, whether right or wrong, if I had to meet a girl like that right now, i would probably run screaming for the hills...

Hey Rix, I sure got that way off! Sorry, girlfriend, for the gender bender there. Yes, I do love the teasing part, but that's because I'll deliver. I don't like stringing a guy along only to leave him flat on his face, which I'm sure you feel the same way about. I tease, because I plan to make sure he get his, and gets his, and gets his... Yeah, you get the point. LOL.


Phoenix - (BTW, I lived in Phoenix for a year when I was a kid. Hotter than hell there, and its was like living in the dirt). anyhoo, I have to agree with you and Rix on the definition of a lady/gent. Its interesting though, being that I'm not much of a lady, however, I notice a very fascinating double standard that occurs when I'm around men. I hear guys curse all of the time, most of the time not even apologizing for when I'm around. However, the moment I curse I get the third degree on how a woman shouldn't speak with such language. DOES ANYBODY HAVE ANY IDEA JUST HOW WRONG THAT IS!! I get sick and tired of being told that I shouldn't curse, when guys have a mouth like a drunken sailor. What? Am I supposed to turn a deaf ear on it? Anyway, gentlman or not, I am who I am, and that will never change until I want it to.

Awww, Alex. That's too bad. Insatiable women can be fun. LOL. Seriously, you have no reason to be afraid.

Methias, trust me. Snails down a shirt is NO fun. To this day I don't care for my cousins because they tormented me.

YANA, one day, when I meet a nice one, I hope I remember your advice.

I will let you know if I do

LOL, yeesh, I think I like it in JHB thanks!

So true on the double standard. Although I normally only swear around guys who swear around me - to see what they'll say, you see.
And when they say "Oh, well golly gosh you know, a lady shouldn't use such LANGUAGE" I just say - it's your influence, so




hehehe, me too.

*runs and hides*

lol! Phoenix, north of Durban or Phoenix in the states?

And now for something completely different...Off topic...

In the States. I live in the Los Angeles area in California. Only time I've ever been out of the country was when I went to Tijuana in Mexico when I was a little girl. I've been in the states all of my life. I like it here. I'm first generation American in a long line of Cubans and Spaniards. Hence the Rosa Maria (maiden name:) Gonzalez. That's about as Mary Jones as a spic can get. LOL. There's literally hundred of us here, RMGs that is. I actually went to school with another girl by that name, and got her report card from school once. My mother railed into me because I failed Auto Shop. I was shaking in my boots until I realized, hey, I'm not taking Shop. Anyways...and now we return to our regular programming...


Phoenix, I get the same reaction from guys when I use the F word. They all gasp as though I've just commited the most hideous crime conceivable, and this is just after they bitched about some bastard on the road that cut them off, using equal vigor in their language. Go figure! LOL

Perhaps you men can explain to me, why that is? What is it about women talking your language that puts you off? Moreover, if it puts you off, why shouldn't it put us girls off?

well said, once again

btw twas nice to hear a bit more bout u

It should put girls off!

I have absolutely no problem with girls swearing. Its a stupid double standard and almost every girl I know uses it in daily communication. Before I get pigeonholed here, let me state that I'm talking about decent middle-class girls here from good homes and good upbringing.

This is probably the best topic ever posted, because if someone can give me the answer...

It might help me understand why after a year of standing by the man I loved, supporting him financially and emotionally. including (and this is NB!) letting him spend all day and even nights til 4am in the morning on his computer...
why I got dumped like yesterdays trash?

Angelatheart here are a couple of things i could think of

1)he's an idiot
2)he feels guilty for relying on you so much
3)he was using you, i know it sounds harsh but some people (male and female) are like that.
4)maby he has a one year limit on relationships.
5)maby he needs to space

Have you asked him why?
was this sudden or have things been leading up to this?

if he doesnt give you an answer then one of two things is happening, either he is to scared to tell you or wont because he doesnt want to hurt your feelings in which case he still cares about you which is a bit ironic.

thats all i can think of at the moment.

Cheers
Guy

T.I.M

There was a combination of events, he runs his own business which has not done very well over the last 9 months, and because of him not having money and selling his car to keep the business going. It literally broke him.
He is a person who is passionate about money and cant live without it and for me, I think you have to make do with what you got and just keep going.
Also, its harder to face the world when you have so many problems on your own, but again the extra pressure of being in a relationship and having to depend on your partner so much maybe is just too much for someone.

Maybe I thought I had enough strength and love for both of us to carry us through all the crap, but its not always so. I have always believed that things happen for a reason and there is a reason for this.

Ouch! I feel your pain. Had to leave my ex because he was "too depressed" to work throughout our marriage.

It was all enough to make me curse like a sailor. LOL

I find its the easiest indication of a person's intellect or conversational prowess by how much they swear excessively. When every second word that comes out of a girl's mouth also comes out of a cows ass, you know there's a problem, but the same goes for guys, and I'm not even after them I find it insulting when guys push a double-standard like that on a girl.

It just discourages me to share something meaningful with them, whether its a conversation or something intimate.

Insatiable woman is fun in the beginning - then the novelty wears off...





That's the essence of being a lady or a gentleman - to make those around u feel comfortable. Personally I cannot stand pretentiousness in people and i would much rather have a lady use language matching my own (in other words, making me feel comfortable, ie making herself a lady) than constantly having to watch what i say and apologise to the female in the company (ie pretending to be a gentleman)

I'm rattling on and somehow i don't think i'm making my point clear
Bottom line is this. Your own actions will influence the actions of those around you. Example - respect sumone else and u will eventually be respected back. Be a gentleman to a woman and she will be a lady right back at you.

If you know your wife or girlfriend really loves you, then there is nothing more you could ever want in/from that person. That is my personal viewing.....!