Okay heres the deal, I ordered stuff from Dangerden in America. I payed $80 for their priority service thinking that it would be worth it. It wasn't.

Now I can't really blame Fedex international because, according to the tracking details, they did their job very fast. Now their local wing is gonna get shat on.

They had my order at their office yesterday morning. When am I going to get it? Tomorrow! Why? They are fucking stupid that is why. You see, they have to phone me to tell me how much the VAT costs and confirm the shipping address, until this is done, they won't deliver. So now, since about Sunday my cellphone has not been turned off. I have not received a call from them, so naturally I begin to wonder "what the hell are they doing, they have had my order for long enough".

I just gave them a call this morning, it turns out that it has been sitting around at their place doing fuckall. Here follows the conversation:

Cretin: "Yes we have your order here"

LH: "Ummmmm, when am I going to get it?"

Cretin: "I don't know, I don't handle that"

LH: "How much will the VAT cost?"

Cretin: "R201.63"

Long pause follows, the dumbass only answers questions directly, he treats me as if I should tell him exactly who to transfer me to.

LH: "Who can tell me when my order will be here?"

Cretin: (mumbling, this is all I could make out) "The COD department"

Another long pause

LH: "Plesae put me through to them"

COD Cretin: "Hello, please hold"

annoying music

Other COD Cretin: "Yes"

Rude bitch

LH: "Uuuuuh, hi, when will my order be at my house?"

I give tracking number and await results

Other COD Cretin: "Tomorrow, I would send it today but the courier truck has already left"

LH: "Well why wasn't it on that truck, your website says that I will get it today"

Other COD Cretin: "Well you didn't know how much the VAT was and we hadn't confirmed the address"

LH: "Well aren't you supposed to phone me and tell me?"

Other COD Cretin: "We were about to, but then you called us"

LH: "Why didn't you just call me as soon as possible so that I could have got my order today, I'm not supposed to phone you, you should phone me"

Other COD Cretin: (She begins to talk down to me because I am younger than her) "We have just been very busy today"

LH: "I don't care, I want my order and I want it now, you said that I would get it today and I damn well want it today"

Other COD Cretin: "Well there is nothing I can do about it now"

LH: "That is because you are damn well incompetent, you could have put it in the courier this morning, you were just too damn lazy to phone me yesterday or this morning"

Other COD Cretin "Well I was busy"

LH: "Being incompetent?"

Other COD Cretin: "You have the details, tomorrow is the best I can do"

LH: "You could have got it to me today if you weren't incompetent about it, I'm not going to suffer for your incompetence, I need that package"

Other COD Cretin: "Tomorrow is the best I can do, I'm sorry"

LH: "I give up, bye"

Call center personnel should be attached to their phones with a collar that gives off an electric shock whenever the caller presses the # button.

Loudhoward it seems like you've lost all patience... I understand how you feel... man especially with telkom operators... Did you phone the manager? sometime when I call and ask for the manager they get some other dud to answer and give me shhyte!

I have dealt with Fedex twice. Once from Mushkin in USA and once from Dangerden and I cannot complain about their Cape Town office.
Their online tracking seems funky though. Their website said they tried to deliver my order at 16.00 the previous day and there was no one to pay them' but they weren't even here the day before ??? Also it said my package went from:
Left FedEx Sort Facility/INDIANAPOLIS IN
Arrived at FedEx Ramp/PARIS FR
Arrived at Sort Facility/MEMPHIS TN
Arrived at Sort Facility/PARIS FR
Package status/JOHANNESBURG ZA

...... um .... OK.

I hate them so very very much, thats all I have to say. I'm not going to be patronised by her 'I was busy' bullshit either. Fuck her, I'm not paying you R500 to be incompetent, maybe I should steal the van from the driver to compensate for my emotional damage.

Or maybe you should just report her to management?

Look, all this reporting her and anyone else to management is a waste of time, my stuff is coming to tomorrow thanks to her incompetence. I will bet many other people added their incompetence as well.

She also had the gall to ask me if I wanted to come pick it up. News flash bitch, YOU ARE A FUCKING DELIVERY COMPANY.

If it isn't here by the time I get home tomorrow then I am going postal on them (get it? I give up ).

What fucking bullshit! I have a guard who watches my gate 24/7. NO ONE WITH A PACKAGE HAS COME TO MY HOUSE TODAY!

I am phoning them now.

Well then, expect this cycle to keep on repeating itself... If the management team does not know about certain problems how can they address these problems? Hell, even send a complaint via email to head office in yankeeland. I'm sure that they will get a bit uppity about it. As far as i understand Fedex pride themselves on their delivery times and service.

If the call was recorded, it will count in your favour... cause then you can moan to head office/management, and moan about the kak service that you got.

millennia's suggestion about moaning to the US division is great, since SA has kak service standards, which keep on getting kakker...

Okay, I intend to send this e-mail to Fedex in Yankeeland:

Hi, my name is Simon and I have recently used your service to have a package delivered to me in South Africa. The package itself came from Oregon in the U.S.A.

According to the tracking details on your website, my package's trip from the U.S.A to South Africa was done speedily, I thank you for this, however I do have a complaint about your South African wing.

The package arrived at our customs center on a Saturday, it was released from customs on the following Monday, this is normal, what follows from that is not. I phoned Fedex South Africa on Tuesday morning to enquire as to where my package was, this was at about 10 in the morning, the woman on the phone informed that they had th package but were unable to ship it to me on Tuesday as their trucks had already left the office. I can accept this.

Now here is the part that I do not understand, later in the day, I checked the status on the tracking number and it says 13:31 Falied Delivery Attempt, ynable to collect payment. So I phoned Fedex South Africa and enquired. Now the report I got from the man that I spoke to told me that they in fact only received the package at 13:31. He told me that the package was not in their office this morning. Now this is the first oddity, first it says failed delivery attempt, not received package, second, I now have two times for my package to arrive, both of which are not possible for the following reason.

I was told for both times that they couldn't ship it on Tuesday because the trucks had left for the morning. I asked if they could not just put it on a truck when one gets back, both times I was told that their trucks only get back at 5. So now we have trucks leaving at about 9:30 in the morning and getting back at 17:00 in the evening. So now I am forced to assume that both people are lying. They could not of have received the package in the morning because their trucks wouldn't of have dropped off their pickups at that time. I was told that pickups were dropped off at the Fedex office at about 17:00 when all the trucks got back. So how is it possible that they got the passage at 10:00 or 13:31? They tols me that it was not the way that things happen there yet that is how it went.

Please enquire about this incident or at least inform me as to how your system works. My tracking number is *tracking number here*. I have my package already as I picked it up on Tuesday night myself, I needed it very badly an was not willing to wait until Wednesday for it.

Thank you.
Simon.

Shyte man LH let us know what the end results are!

Ok, this is what I know.

Trucks leave at bout 09:00 in the morning. All packages get loaded into the relevant trucks for each region they're assigned to. The drivers carry on with the daily schedule, delivering Next Day, Same day... cargo first. As collections get phoned in drivers go out and pickup when HQ radios them with details.

The average day ends at 16:00 and drivers make their way back with collections and miss deliveries.
So this is where I think the Collection Dept. at FEDEX screwed up. They thought your package was locally/nationally picked up which means it gets received when the trucks docks at 17:00.
But in your case it gets recieved first thing in the morning, a special lot o trucks go and collect from the airport every morning for next day's etc.

Unfortunately this does not explain your missing package.
I tried to find it for u but everyone I knew at Fedex left to co. and all the new people "Can not give me the information I require".