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yeah, the last time being a day before she dumped me for a friend, until then it meant the world to me everytime, it was always something that never lost its lustre.

memories are indeed powerful, capable of such happiness and self-destruction - partly why i could never hate her in spite of everything, just too many good memories

Yeah I told a girl once that, 'you complete me' and she sait, 'Jeez thats fuckin lame, I ALSO saw Jerry Maguire you cliched hack,' and then dumped her drink in my lap

True Story

I`ve had a few nice things said to me but it is`nt really the words but how she said it that I`ll never forget. In the year we went out she never once said `I love you`, but there was no need. Her actions like, cooking dinner, making up the bed, cleaning the house while I was playing on my comp etc, really sound so trivial but thinking back never once did she complain...just did it out of love.

Sure I miss her but then again there was a reason we broke up and I can`t ignore that. Sometimes I want to give her a call and say hi just to hear her voice or smell her perfume or look into her eyes again but that would be suicide `cause I don`t know how I would react.

I guess I`m the person who tries to enjoy the ride as much as possible but I`m just very careful what ride I take who on...Cobra if I`m sure, Bar-one Bushwacker if I`m not....

angel4everyoung u sound like a bit of a deamer...but in a good way I mean. U been hurt lately?

Yep, but they became acid after the bitch dumped me.....it was hard afterward to think back about it and trying to believe that she actually meant it.....



For me on the other hand it did (same situation).



Does not sound like you are over her at all

give it a try if you really Love her that much, you'll be surprised...




Yes i did & i meant it with all my hart, but i took a Gamble & she didn't reply what i hoped she would & i was to scared to go back & say i made a mistake, after that my life has been a constant search for someone like her...

I still Love Her With All My Heart, no matter how much SH!T there was!

yeah, i felt the same believe me, the breakup does tend to devalue everything you once thought was beautiful especially under those type of circumstances

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She did, so i told her to fuck herself.

There is somre more history here too. Since the other boyfriend left her, she decided she does'nt want to be alone, so she wanted me back. Selfish bitch!

(No offense intended towards anyone)

depends on the reasons for the initial breakup, if i was cheated on then i would have to say no but if there were other circumstances then maybe the relationship could be reassessed, i ,however, am a true believer in the opinion that a 'leopard never changes its spots' and so i am biased in this regard to always be wary of people who have hurt me before.

you also have to be fair to the person you are seeing as well, its never nice being the next one after 'the one' so if you are truly happy then that must be taken into considration, you dont want to throw away something great to make the same mistake with the same person again.

Just bare in mind also that things werent probably 100% great with the other person before anyway, just that we tend to only focus on the positives and forget the negatives creating an illusion or aura of perfection that is difficult to break.

i sense you are heading somewhere with this.....


funny how they tend to think that you dont mind being a consolation prize

I'd fart real loudly and if she still stuck around, I'd give it another shot

I don't think 'I love you' should be used just because you are with someone. It should come straight from the heart. I've only ever told one person that I love them & that's because I really meant it.

As for:


That's something the individual has to decide for themself and it depends on how important the ex is & how important the new person is. Also, do you want to risk being hurt again?

I have to agree with enigma, except I will say that a leopard "rarely" changes its spots.
People do change but only if they want to change.

Ultimately it's the chance you take & the consequences you have to live with, just don't play with other peoples feelings. You have to be dead sure before you decide to do anything.

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who really knows then - each scenario is so unique, just have to decide how important the current person is to you and whether it is worth losing him for the other person and risking the same strange little idiosyncrisies that caused the split in the first place.

no-one but you can make that call

Along the lines of communications, does anyone else here feel that too much time on irc/forums/sms/e-mail affects the way you communicate with your SO? When I lived at home I was an absolute IRC junkie, it wasn't that I found talking to girls difficult its just i found i was getting to used to composing everything i say like written word rather than spoken word. I only made that realisation after being off irc for a long time and going out with an irc regular.

very true, when writing you are not on the spot so much so you can think more about what you are saying.

there is a lot to be said for the cloak of anonymity

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yeah, i find i'm alot more open when i'm chatting impersonally, not that i dont find conversation difficult outside the confines of a computer you understand

It really breaks down to your conscience. As I sit here typing I have the choice to review what i'm saying an edit according to how I want to express myself. Where as if your just talking to someone you dont have time to construct your points properly thus leading to confusion and misinterpretation. Coming back to why your conscience is the main player is because with written text your mind can control your conscience where as with spoken word its often your heart that speaks louder than your conscience or your mind.

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yeah, much easier - i have a very close friend that immigrated recently and we are on msn 24/7 owing to the nature of our work. When she was here we never chatted near as much as we did now.

I'm in the exact same situation, except the girl i speak to lives about 35km from my house. Its not the fact that we dont talk alot in real life its just given the animosity of internet communication, our conversations are alot broader & deeper online than they are off.

EDIT: This isnt a girlfriend i'm speaking to, just a friend. I've got a girlfriend but unfortunately/fortunately she doesn't have the internet.

precisely

Thougth I Was The Only One with Problems Like This, First Time I Read You're Post I thought I'd keep my SH!T Quite But Now I think It Might Be a Good Idee To Hear What The People Have To Say:

I had a Girl Once:

I Loved Her When It Was Puppy Love, i call it In Love! I Loved her when she dumbed me(Long Story, she had good reason, not something i did, Surcomstances beyond our control), I Loved Her When We Got Back & I still Love Her After We Broke up again (Me Being Stupid, no not cheating or anything, Comunication Problems, i still Loved Her When We/I Ended It)... It physicaly Hurts me when i think she is with someone els & that all because of me being Stupid...

Our Roads Keep Crossing No Matter How Hard We Try To Avoid It & Everytime they cross both of us realize that all the feeling haven't gone yet...

This time there is just one "problem"... She's got someone that make her Happy & she doen't want to risk that...

I can Respect that! But Eversince we broke up the first time i've had one problem i can't give my hole heart to any other girl & i've tried (trust me i have) to get her out, but there is always a part of my heart that i can't give to any other girl & that keeps getting in the way of any other relationship i've had or most prob gonna have... My hole life sofar has been a search for someone like her... & now there might be the slight's of chances to get her back...

I know you will tell me Get Over Her, Carry On, You're Stupid but god knows I Love Her & I've tried everything to Hate her or just dislike her but i can't find anything... I've even tried Drinking but that just cost me a SH!T load of Money...

She's in the music i listen & i've changed that, the TV shows i watch I've tried not watching TV, The places i go to...

A Friend of her's that know's us both said a couple of day's ago "I don't know what to think of Life Anymore, cause if two people that Love Each Other As Mush As You Too Do Aren't Meant For Each Other Then There I Don't Know Who Is..." Or something Damn Close to That...

SH!T I'm Screw In The Nokker

Ps: We Broke Up ±18months ago & i still feel this way, i've had a 16month relationship with another girl in the meen time but had to break it up cause i realize i couldn't give her my hole heart like se wanted & it was hurting her to much...

BadBoyTazz4Ever, this may seem trite, but its very true. Trust me on that one...


Time heals all wounds. Be patient with yourself, and DON'T push yourself onward. Just move, but don't expect yourself to be able to spring back so quickly. It took me three years to realize that my now ex and I weren't going to work. Understand, he was my SECOND husband. Coming to that conclusion was the hardest thing I ever had to endure, and even now, having met a wonderful man I completely love now, its still hard because he was my best friend. You have to do what's good for you.

Love is the most beautiful of experiences, but it can also be the most painful. Even so, the risk is worth the try.

That is the most True Thing Anybody Has Ever Said!

I've taken a lot of risks with my heart in the past & it's not always come out clean & in one piece on the other side , but you know what i don't regret one of those risks (ok maybe one but now i see that i learned alot after that) Atleast Nobody Can Tell Me I Was To Afraid To Put Everything On The Line To Get What I Want...

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That's why these days, I run. I got way too may unresolved issues with this one person (I wrote about her just in this forum) and unil that's sorted out, I just don't even go that way.
I once got caught up in someone so bad, I couldn't take it anymore. What made it worse was that we were underground as she already had a Boyfriend who I used to see everyday... I know its foul, but you don't chose who you love, love cho...(you've heard it before)

************
:Off-topic: Why is it called cheating?
Cheating is to give oneself an unfair advantage in a situation where all things are supposedly fair. Cheating would be where one does something that would put them in a better position over another person that they are in competition with.

Question: If she goes out with somebody else behind my back, how is she cheating me? Maybe she gets something form her other boyfriend\girlfirend that I dont' give her... Okay, how does that rob me though? How is her destroying our trust giving her an advantage?
It hurts me, but what does she get from that, that she couldn't have for instance if she did something terrible to me (like run over me with a car?) (don't ask it nearly happened)
****************

I don't think it is a question of WHAT does she GAIN from it, but rather what does she NEED from it. This is the typical behavior of someone who is very insecure. I have seen (and felt the brunt) of jaw-droppingly beautiful women who are insecure. They have this insatiable urge to feel accepted/loved. It is not like they are not getting it, but rather that they are trying to make sure that they really love you, or that they have grown used to your attentions (harsh!).

Women like these are definite no-no's. Stay away as far as you can.

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I doubt that this can happen. And yes, i am speaking from personal experience. This one girl i used to date creaved attention like it was going out of fashion. It was just the way she was; pretty but very insecure. We are not on speaking terms anymore, so i cannot tell if she's grown up since then.

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That depends on the person i broke up with,98% of all my break-up's i will not want to go back & even try to do things right just because a couple of years down the line i saw the true them & that is not with whom i want to be...

Then there is that little 2%, 1% of witch is that i wish i could go back & try again to get a girl that i loved (a SH!T load) to fall for me, from her side it was alway's just friendship & i was happy with that but i would still ove to know what would have ahppend if she ever took me in as more than a friend!!!

& then that last 1% is that person that you'll always Dream & Wonder About in the deepest parts of you're mind & heart now matter how many Self Healing or just going on you've done!!!

But hey, Life goes on & Love has a way of alway's finding you again & being as close as it can be to perfect!

angel, I dont mean to be rude, but reading your posts make me happy that I'm single. God you have more problems relationship wise than anyone can imagine.

Never go back to your ex. It shows weakness of character.

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This is actually eery reading about people in pain the way I am. When faced with these problems you tend to forget or you don't think that other people go through the same things, or relativly the same things, as you.

Hey acronym, it is cool to be single, it really is. The problem comes in when you don't want to be single anymore. I'm talking about lonelyness. But over time I realised that you should not try to stop the lonelyness with a relationship, that is a shurefire way to get hurt.

I'm having rebound issues at the moment myself. What do I do? I liked this one girl, got spurned, and it seemed I transferred my feelings for the one to the other. This can not be good. Do I persue the new interest? Is it fair. I have to say the new one is a rather wid one and I might not get along.

My experience is very limited, so I have no idea what I'm doing. All I know is that the pain is temporarily gone. Why is this? Will the depression return?

I'm so f*ed up.

If you keep looking over your shoulder at the past you'll miss the future passing you by.

hehehe methinks Angel4everyoung should have a update here

Me too

Personally,
My last breakup was pretty bleh. She said some very nasty stuff. But, I just dont care anymore, She got herself into some trouble with girls at her college, and I didnt even want to know about it.

She called the other day, almost 6 months after the breakup, and wanted to chat. I just grunted and told her to go away because I knew that her new boyfriend had broken up with her the day before (my best friend goes to her school, so tells me alll the news about everyone at his possie )

I dont want her back, I dont wish that it had never happened, it did, and thats that.
Im looking at whats coming now, and whats happening.

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hmmm that doesn't sound like you don't care at all... it's like you really want to know what she is up to and who she sees, does this provoke a reaction within you? Have you gotten angry with the fact that she was with someone else?

It's usually little things like this that play in your mind.

congrats there with the fiance, and good choice to take a step back to sort out your problems first. It's best to sort out your problems before facing the world. Keep it up

btw when I said a update I meant that this post was last used in Apr 13 2005, 07:19 PM

So kinda a few months outdate

Hmm, I didn't read the whole thread (too tired for that atm) but I believe strongly in love and the thing is that if you do not try you will never know. I also believe that you can love somebody (even if you are not for ages with each other) and that you must make the must out of your love at that given time and when it is fading you must face it and be able to say. I loved her/him and we did great but there are now other people to meet who might be just as nice or even better (you never know untill you try). It is a feeling afterall and yes afterwards you always think, were the words true at that time but I just love and love and when it is over I will still care (given the situation of course) and I will say, I loved at that time. Maybe it doesn't make sense but that is how I am. When I feel it (even if afterwards I might be wrong) I will say it (even if it is too early).

Angel4everyoung : You know I say congrats

Fishfly: Funny you say that. Because after being so devasted with me breaking up with her. And when I say devastated, I mean it, screaming/crying all at once, pleading/swearing/cursing my existence etc etc...

2 days later she was back with the guy she cheated with in the beggining. That made me angry.
Bit now, I dont know how many boyfriends she has had, or who they have been, I just found out about her rbeaking up with her BF prior to calling me from my friend, when I told him that she had called.

So ja, I understand what you say, and I suppose its a possibility But I really dont think so. Well, I wouldnt like myself too much if it was true.

Anyway, new girfriend since yesterday now, all good

Gitano, seems you doing better.

I had a similar one like that. GF left me for the guy she cheated on me with and then wanted me back the day after HE LEFT HER. We are not on speaking terms anymore, but she still contacts my friends. WTF!? Not that i want her back though.

Haha! this one contacted my friends too!
Needless to say, they told her to stfu and go away Good mates

But yeah, life goes on!

now you after sisters


UNION

Gitano, Valheru you both dated the same girl mah?

Yeah, and soon you will have to call me brother-in-law..... (btw: still waiting for that introduction)


Gitano: good on you for noticing your mistake too. I didnt want her back either

Valheru:

Fishfly: doubt it Mine was blonde, and Valheru doesn't like blondes!