JULES
                      What country you from!

                                 BRETT
                           (petrified)
                      What?

                                 JULES
                      \"What\" ain't no country I know!  Do
                      they speak English in \"What?\"

                                 BRETT
                           (near heart attack)
                      What?

                                 JULES
                      English-motherfucker-can-you-speak-
                      it?

                                 BRETT
                      Yes.

                                 JULES
                      Then you understand what I'm
                      sayin'?

                                 BRETT
                      Yes.

                                 JULES
                      Now describe what Marsellus Wallace
                      looks like!

                                 BRETT
                           (out of fear)
                      What?

       Jules takes his .45 and PRESSES the barrel HARD in Brett's
       cheek.

                                 JULES
                      Say \"What\" again!  C'mon, say
                      \"What\" again!  I dare ya, I double
                      dare ya motherfucker, say \"What\"
                      one more goddamn time!

       Brett is regressing on the spot.

                                 JULES
                      Now describe to me what Marsellus
                      Wallace looks like!

       Brett does his best.

                                 BRETT
                      Well he's ...he's...black --

                                 JULES
                      -- go on!

                                 BRETT
                      ...and he's...he's...tall --

                                 JULES
                      -- does he look like a bitch?!

                                 BRETT
                           (without thinking)
                      What?

       Jules' eyes go to Vincent, Vincent smirks, Jules rolls his
       eyes and SHOOT Brett in the shoulder.

       Brett SCREAMS, breaking into a SHAKING/TREMBLING SPASM in the
       chair.

                                 JULES
                      Does-he-look-like-a-bitch?!

                                 BRETT
                           (in agony)
                      No.

                                 JULES
                      Then why did you try to fuck 'im
                      like a bitch?!

We're at a panel discussion.  The room is full.  Five
      creators sit at a long table, their names on placards in
      front of them.
      (One of them is a very striking Girl.)  The banner behind
      them reads `WORDS UP - MINORITY VOICES IN COMICS'.
     
                          HOOPER
                    (holds up comic)
                Now my book, `White-Hating Coon',
                doesn't have any of that bullshit. The
                hero's name is Maleekwa, and he's a
                descendant of the black tribe that
                established the first society on the
                planet, while all you European mother
                fuckers were still hiding in caves and
                shit, all terrified of the sun. He's a
                strong role model that a young black
                reader can look up to, `Cause I'm here
                to tell you - the chickens are comin'
                home to roost, ya'll: the black man's
                no longer gonna play the minstrel in
                the medium of comics and Sci-
                Fi/Fantasy!  We're keeping it real,
                and we're gonna get respect -
                by any means necessary!
               
      During the speech, Holden and Banky enter and sit up
      front.
     
                          HOLDEN
                    (calling out)
                Bullshit!  Lando Calrissian was a
                black man, and he got to fly the
                Millennium Falcon!
               
      Hooper whips his head around, looking for the source of
      the comment
     
                          HOOPER
                Who said that?!?
               
                          HOLDEN
                    (standing)
                I did!  Lando Calrissian is a positive
                black role model in the realm of
                Science Fiction/Fantasy.
               
                          HOOPER
                Fuck Lando Calrissian!  Uncle Tom
                [racial slur]!  Always some white boy gotta
                invoke `the holy trilogy'! Bust this -
                those movies are about how the white
                man keeps the brother man down - even
                in a galaxy far, far away.  Check
                this shit.  You got cracker farm-boy
                Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy -
                blond hair, blue eyes.
                And then you've got          Darth
                Vader: the blackest brother in the
                galaxy.  Nubian God.
               
                          BANKY
                What's a Nubian?
               
                          HOOPER
                Shut the fuck up!  Now Vader, he's a
                spiritual brother, with the force and
                all that shit.  Then this cracker
                Skywalker gets his hands on a light-
                saber, and the boy decides he's
                gonna run the fucking universe - gets
                a whole Klan of whites together, and
                they're gonna bust up Vader's `hood
                the Death Star.  Now what the fuck do
                you call that!
               
                          BANKY
                Intergalactic Civil War!
               
                          HOOPER
                Gentrification.  They're gonna drive
                our the black element, to make the
                galaxy quote, unquote `safe' for white
                folks.
               
                          HOLDEN
                But Vader turns, out to be Luke's
                father.  And in Jedi, they become
                friends.
               
                          HOOPER
                Don't make me bust a cap in your ass,
                yo!  Jedi's the most insulting
                installment, because Vader's
                beautiful,          black visage is
                sullied when he pulls off his mask to
                reveal a feeble, crusty white man!
                They're trying to tell us that deep
                inside, we all want to be white!
               
                          BANKY
                Well isn't that true!
               
      Hooper explodes, He pulls a nine millimeter from his
      belt, draws on Banky and fires.  Banky goes down, falling
      forward into the crowd The crowd screams and starts to
      scatter, Hooper jumps over the table and raises his fists
      in the air.
     
                          HOOPER
                BLACK RAGE! BLACK RAGE!!  I'LL KILL
                ANY WHITE FOLKS I LAY MY MOTHER
                FUCKIN' EYES ON!!!
               
      The crowd-is gone.  Holden sits in his chair, laughing.
      Hooper steps off the stage and picks Banky's head up off
      the floor.
     
                          HOOPER
                    (breaking character)
                `What's a Nubian!'  Bitch, you almost
                made me laugh!
               
      Hooper sounds different Actually, he sounds gay.
      Actually - he is.  Banky smiles.
     
                          BANKY
                Well what about you!  You didn't tell
                me you were going to scream `Black
                Rage'.  I nearly pissed myself.
               
                          HOLDEN
                How do you manage to get away with
                this all the time?  Shouldn't cops be
                busting your head open right about
                now?
               
                          BANKY
                Wrong coast.
               
                          HOOPER
                    (off gun)
                Well this right here - she full of
                blanks, okay.  And Opiate gets all
                sorts of legal clearances before I go
                on.
               
                          HOLDEN
                Your publisher condones these
                theatrics!
               
                          HOOPER
                Condones?  Honey, they insist.  I need
                to sell the image to sell the book
                Would the audience still buy the
                `Black Rage' angle if they found out
                the book was written by a.. a...
               
                          BANKY
                Faggot.
               
                          HOOPER
                When you say if it sounds so sexy...
                    (he kisses Banky full on the
                     lips)

                       A FREMEN
              Muad'dib!...

    The word `Muad'dib' causes a tremendous power to
    build.  The module shakes violently in his hand - it
    suddenly fires upwards, and the wall explodes.

                         PAUL
                   (inner voice)
              My own name is a killing word.  Will it be
              a healing word as well?

           HARTMAN
    How tall are you, Private?

           COWBOY
    Sir, five foot nine, sir!

           HARTMAN
    Five foot nine? I didn't
    know they stacked shit
    that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in
    on me somewhere, huh?

           COWBOY
    Sir, no, sir.

           
HARTMAN
    Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of
    you ran down the crack of your mama's ass
    and ended up as a brown stain on the
    mattress! I think you've been cheated!

           HARTMAN
    Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?


           COWBOY
    Sir, Texas, sir!

           HARTMAN
    Holy dogshit! Texas! Only
    steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you
    don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down!
    Do you suck dicks!

           COWBOY
    Sir, no, sir!

           
           HARTMAN
    Are you a peter-puffer?

           COWBOY
    Sir, no, sir!

           HARTMAN
    I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck
    a person in the ass and not even have the
    goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-
    around! I'll be watching you!

           HOOKER
    Well, baby, me so horny. Me so horny. Me
    love you long
    time. You party?

           JOKER
    Yeah, we might party. How much?

           
           HOOKER
    Fifteen dolla.

           JOKER
    Fifteen dollars for
    both of us?

           HOOKER
    No. Each you fifteen dolla. Me love
    you long time. Me so horny.

           JOKER
    Fifteen dollar
    too boo-coo. Five dollars each.

           HOOKER
    Me suckee-suckee. Me love you too much.

           JOKER
    Five dollars is all my mom allows me to
    spend.

           HOOKER
    Okay! Ten dolla each.

               KAY (CONT'D)
        Que dices si te rompo la cara?
        (What do you say if I break your face?)

The Guy smiles and nods. Kay stops. His own smile broadens and he drops a hand on the Guy's shoulder.

KAY (CONT'D)
        No hablas ni una palabra del Espanol,
        verdad, amigo?
        (You don't speak a word of Spanish, right, friend?)

Again, the Guy smiles and nods. Kay looks back at Dee.

KAY (CONT'D)
        We got a winner.
        (to the others)
        Los restos estan libres a irse. Largense!
        (The rest of you are free to go. Scram!)

Terrorist: Where are de missiles located?
Colonel: Close.
Terrorist: How close?
Colonel: (With attitude) In your ass!!!

(The terrorist then gives the colonel a mega whop to the face!)