Every day I look around
And all of them are waiting
For me to come along and listen
To their tales
Of woe and dire deception
And of petty little problems
But you know, I really don’t mind.

If they come to me for sympathy
I’ll give it to them daily
Though I don’t have much left anymore.

He has the best intentions
But I’m not sure that he knows
Quite what he’s doing.
No matter what, I’ll stand beside him
And just make sure he survives
From day to day
Doing what he’s used to doing.

Cause he has all this motivation
But going in the wrong direction
And I’m not sure I can help anymore.

I am a shoulder to cry on
And I will listen gladly
And do all I can to help.
If anything is wrong, let me be
The first one you run to
Then I’ll do whatever I can.
She took this offer truly
And she’s on the phone to me
But you know what? So long as I can help.

She goes through box and box of tissues
Spilling out her thoughts and issues
And I’m not sure what to do anymore

The best of all is this,
I’ll tell you my story
Cause you’re my only listening ear.
It seems no matter what I do
It’s never good enough for them
And that’s why I now come to you.
When no one else will take the time
To listen to me whine
Will you really be there?

They yell at me all the time
From midnight back to midnight
And I’m not going to take it anymore.

Goodbye

I wish I could stay,
There’s nowhere to go.
I hear this place calling me.
It needs me,
You need me
I need everything I’ve ever known.
The pain, the joy of my life
Is calling me as if to say, “let’s go”.
Go away from it all.
From the screams of dying women,
The shouts of an angry man,
It needs me, and I need it.
This world forever changing,
Changed forever.
I need solidity.
I need sociability.
I need to know.
I don’t know what I need.
How bout I hear “I love you”?
I need to know I’m free.
I want to know who hates me,
I have to know my sin.
I live to know the people that I live within.
I want to leave,
I wish to stay.
Why not?
I thrive on change,
I live on stability
I die of pain.
Help me!
I have to go,
I want to stay
I really wish I knew what to say
To you
I love my home
I love you
I love and live for what is true
I need my life.
Give me back my hopes and dreams
Before I hear my deathly screams.

It's my opinion that girls sacrifice too much, too readily and usually to their own detriment. It's something I plan on changing when I become omnipotent.

Tiptoe along on fairy wings
Quiet as a breeze
Alert, like the earth
Listening, ready to hide
And peek out at passers-by
Playful, content, enjoying the forest
Full of creatures
Ready to surprise a stranger
Or an unsuspecting friend
Helpful to lost travelers
Joking with well-worn dwellers
A quick mind
Perfectly matched by a sharp tongue
Often overlooked and underestimated
But to no one’s downfall
Distant observer in an unusual land
Flies away on fairy wings

But if I don’t get it, does it still count?
I don’t know and it doesn’t
Make much difference to me.
Who cares? I just told you
I don’t, do you?
Does it affect you that much,
Something meant for me?
Really? I should think it wouldn’t
Simply because it’s for me, not you.
Don’t think that you have the power,
The right, or anything like that
To what’s mine.
It really is mine, so leave it alone.
You’re not welcome to my confusion.
Me not understanding does not allow you to
Jump in and rescue me.
I don’t need your help.
If I did, you would have been asked
By now.
But you weren’t,
So stop

If I knew it wouldn’t hurt you,
Would I still say it?
Would I be able to end it and know
You’d be alright?
The guilt for something
I don’t know what
Leading you on, maybe?
But I didn’t,
So, for something else?
For abandoning you?
Not if we stay friends
Is there any guilt left?
Could it be for liking
Someone else?
That is most probable
But do I have to apologize for that?
Do you have the right to make me feel
Like this?
Not when you knew from the start
That I wasn’t looking for
What you expect from me
If that’s true,
Am I a hypocrite
For going to someone else
To get what we have?
That’s more guilt right there
I’m sorry for this,
I don’t mean to hurt you
I want you to be happy
But I need to be happy too
All my life has been
Pleasing other people
And I get left behind
Hiding my feelings
Putting myself second
Or third, or forth
You get the idea
It’s my turn now
I’n sorry for anyone
I hurt on the way
It will be avoided
Wherever possible
But this time
It’s me first!
For once I’m in the lead
And that’s it
Stay or go
You choose
But now, it’s all about me

Pleasing other people
And I get left behind
Hiding my feelings
Putting myself second

What would happen if one day
I just never came home
Or showed up anywhere
At all?
Is there anyone who would look for me?
Would they find me, and if they did
Would they like what they found?
I don't know
I'm not sure I want to find out
So for now, I'll keep going home

Every day I make the effort
Some days require more than others
But I still make it.
Will I ever be good enough?
Good enough for you
I try
I fail
I try again
Will I ever please you?
The only way
I will find out is time
But then it's too late
For you anyway
Nothing's ever enough
For you anyway
If I work too much,
I'm always home
If I take time off
I'm never there
No happy in between
Not good enough
For you anyway
Maybe I'll stop
Trying to make you happy
And live for me
Not that it'll please me
Or anyone else
But at least
I'll have my own life
I'll succeed
And it'll be my effort
No living
Loving
Trying, for anyone
Not for you anyway
My life
My mistakes
Let me die my own death
Or rise above it's grip
Just let me do it
For once in your life
Instead of reliving
Through me.
Now it's my turn
To be what you never were
Never wanted
But I do
And it's for me
Not for you anyway

Common courtesy is a concept
Lost on almost everyone
These days
And family is the worst
The same people
Who are supposed to teach you
Such things
But parents, by birth, marriage, or other
Have forgotten to teach by example
Do unto others is another
Misplaced idea
In my experience
Scream and yell
To get a quiet "yes sir" response?
I don't think so
That's not the way the world works
And not how I was raised
Until you came along.
So many conflicting actions
Which one is right?
The one you dislike
But no one cares
About you
I'm not about to start
If you think I will, then I'm sorry
For misleading you
No, I'm not sorry
I did it for my benefit
Not yours
And that's my choice
If you think
That I will bend and bow
To you
Then you are sadly mistaken
Nothing you say or do
Will change me now
Or mold me into
Your perfect child
If that was your plan
Then you failed
And that's life
So deal with it
You told me to
So take your own advice
I'm not yours
Never will be
And you will never change that
So deal!
Your comfort and joy
Are not my concern
Never will be
It's too late to teach you
but my future is not
Your past
I have learned
What I do and don't like
And that's all there is

I stand here in the open door
My way to the world
And watch these millions
Of stretched drops falling
To become part
Of one whole
Absorbed into the ground
Gone from sight
That’s when I wondered
If I was that raindrop
Sharing my moment of glory
With millions of others
Only to disappear
Forgotten
Could I be like that first drop
On a hot afternoon?
The one promising
Refreshment
Maybe I should share
This moment
With the sky
The earth
Walk out that door
Into the world
The first step
To my shared moment

Looking at the raindrops
Listening to the sound
Of the instant end
For each drop
The smoke wraps around them
As the pattern is changes
Broken, until nothing is left
But a memory
There is more smoke
More broken rhythms
That blend perfectly
With the light
The music
Pure bliss

You say I don’t do anything
But I can prove you wrong
You say I’m a waste of time
I know I’m not
You know how to hurt me
And you do it all the time
I hate that you have power
Over my life
I hate you
And what you do
I want to die
No, you go first, fucker!
You say I make no effort
But I do everything
You want to rule my life
Then live it too
You think I have it easy
Maybe I do
But you live like a king
I’m not your fucking slave
Get over yourself asshole
You’re not a god to me
The pain you cause me
Is more than I can take
Your time is over
My chance is now

I don’t mean to hurt you
I want you to be happy
But I need to be happy too
All my life has been
Pleasing other people
And I get left behind
Hiding my feelings
Putting myself second
Or third, or forth

Twisted

You take those words
Turn them around
Make them fit
Your twisted plans

Don’t fake it
You’re not worth it
Just a waste
Of my time

You make a deal
With the devil again
And you will become
A thorn in my side
Don’t pretend!
We’re not friends
You’re just a waste
Of my time

You have some balls
To lie to my face
No sense of honour
You can’t change that

Don’t make deals
You can’t fulfill
A simple waste
Of my time

I hate you
For what you did
You hurt me
And the one I love

Don’t tell me
It’s not about me
You’re just a waste of my time

You make me feel

You make me feel
Like I’m not good enough
No matter how hard I try

You make it seem
Like I can’t think for myself
No matter what I do

You make me do
What you wanted to
No matter what I want

But I’m not you
This is not your life
You can’t live it for me

You make it sound
Like I can’t think
No matter what I say

You make them think
That I’m no good
No matter what I prove

You make it look
Like I just fail
No matter my reached goals

But I’m not you
This is not your life
You can’t live it for me

You make me feel
Inadequate
No matter where I go

You make me look
Like a worthless beast
No matter my shown worth

You make me feel
Like a useless child
No matter my real age

But I’m not you
This is not your life
You can’t live it for me!

If All I Did

If all I ever did
Was sit around and plan
Would that make me?
If all I did was
Talk of my plans
Would that make me?
If all I did was
Listen to my own voice
Would that make me?
If all I did was
Hear only myself
Would that make me?
If I live out my plans
That I talked about
To myself
Without hearing me
Would that make me?
But what if someday
I listened to someone else
Talk of my plans?
That would make me

Mistake

You slap me in the face
With my mistakes
Time and again
And it Hurts.
You bring up the past
After you said
It was long gone
You use it against me
Your words cut deeply
But then I realise
It's all in my mind.
You're the one that forgave me
The very next day
You don't live in the past
You said
You still love me
But can't be with me
I understand
It's all my fault
I've said it before
And it's still very true
I'm sorry!
I love you
I always will
If I could change what I did
I'd erase that night
Delete it from my past
From now
You're in my heart,
My mind,
My soul
Your special place
To go
When everything gets too much
But you won't
I hurt you too bad
I destroyed my chance
Our future
Just ended.

Cruel

People are so cruel
not tolerant at all!
They believe the one
With more control,
No matter who is right
They judge
And bash
And just ignore
My side of this story
how I wish I could prove
That I'm telling the truth
But my facade worked too well
Cold and distant
Quiet, apart
No one took a second look
Except to leer and grope
Ignored,
Resorting to solitary fun
Found only in that other world
Drifting between the two
To prevent suspicion
It worked
But why that time?
Not before, not after
That one night
When everything changed
Forever

The Last Time

I don’t know why I bother
To prove my worth
Because tonight I see
I’ll never win

I’m no good
I heard you the first time
It’s the last time
No way I’ll stick around

For more of this
It’s not worth the pain

I hate you
For everything you put me through
This is the last time
You’ll get this close

I don’t know why I bother
To try fit your mould
Because tonight I see
I’m too disfigured

These tears I cry
Show my pain
Shaking with rage
This is the last time

My screams stay silent
You’re not going to hear them
Wonder why I rebel?
I want to be myself

Back of My Mind

"No reason to stress",
You say
But you don't go through this
Every day

Ok, neither do I
Though it's close enough
It's always at the back
Of my mind

You don't face
The worry, the pain
A day in my life
That's a different game

As with all others
To each their own
But it's always at the back
Of my mind

You don't feel the torment
You don't have this fear
What would I do
If it was for real

It is real
It's deep
Always at the back
Of my mind

Right now the deal's like this
What I said could happen
It did, it has
It's my choice

My life
My torture
Will always be at the back
Of my mind

My Tears

You say you do everything
For me
But you don't

You tell me
I have it easy
But I don't

My life is hell
This was NOT my choice
But you forced me

It's all for the best?
My benefit?
Well I don't want it!

I never did
I still don't
I doubt I ever will

Fuck you for these tears
And all this pain
You stole my life

It never began
Still-born
lost

I try to make the most
Of what I have now
But I've failed

Because you stole me
From myself
But I'll stay calm

You will never see
My tears
Or the effect you've had